Blue skies, black death

The last weekend has been a very tragic one for the skydiving community, 5 skydivers were set free and went into eternal freefall. It definitely shook me up quite a bit to read about these incidents and I believe this is the first time I have felt that sad for people I've never known and passed on. I jump knowing that everytime I let go of the plane, I'm going to die unless I do something to save my ass. But having such a dark weekend definitely hits home the message that yes you CAN die from skydiving and yes you WILL lose friends if you stay in the sport long enough. It is so hard to explain to someone why you jump, most people will think you're crazy, foolhardy, etc. I barely know the skydivers at my home dropzone and yet I have a bond with them and I'm fucking sure that I'm going to have a long lasting friendship with some of them. When the world doesn't understand you and someone instantly knows why you want to step out of a perfectly fine airplane, you will treasure that friendship and comraderie with these people. I think I'm able to deal with the intellectual part of losing my life in this sport but the emotional aspect of possibly losing a friend or having to put your family through the stress is the hard part.

I thought long and hard about whether I want to continue jumping the last night and somehow it's really hard to come to a conclusion. Maybe I just need to talk to someone who's been around for a while for better advice.... Even though I'm just a 4 jump wonder, I cannot even begin to articulate the high one gets from skydiving and now I'm not sure sure if I can deal with the lows that this sport come with. Every thing in life has a balance huh, when you're having the time of your life flying the blue skies do not forget the black earth can take it all away in an instant.

Fly free all those who have left us....

Male guide to the female point system

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
You offer to do the wash (+10)
You use the right detergent (+10)
You put in her slacks and blouses (+10)
The slacks are white and the blouses are red (-500)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

A NIGHT OUT(II, Guy's scoring system)
You see an ex-boyfriend (0)
You start up a conversation with him (-5)
You introduce me as, "Oh, by the way, this is..." (-50)
He's better looking than me (-100)
He's more successful than me (-250)
He's smarter than me (-500)
You share a giggle over some inside joke (-1,000)
You smile radiantly and say, "We should keep in touch." (-10,001)
You say I'm a better lover than he was (0)
In front of him (+5,000)
And mean it (+5,000)
We see my ex-wife (0)
You ignore her (+100)
She won't ignore you (0)
You smile and then punch her in the head (+1,000)
And kick her while she's down (+5,000)
Then backhand her boyfriend (+100)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)

ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)

COMMUNICATION II (Guy's scoring system)
You say, "We need to talk." (0)
You talk (-10)
Incessantly (-20)
You ask the same questions over and over (-30)
And whine while doing it (-40)
You doubt my ability to watch TV and listen to you (-50)
You pout like a child (-60)
You give me the silent treatment (+10)
And don't sigh while doing it (+20)
Or slam anything (+30)
Even mad, you ask me to come to bed with you (+40)
And cuddle up next to me (+50)
And whisper you're "not tired" (+60)
And show me how "not tired" you are (+70)
Twice (+100)
Three times (+500)

Sunset load

Back to the dropzone after a break of almost 1 month! Things screwed up the night before the jump and I wasn't able to get the rental car, anyways, did manage to sort that out in the morning and off to the DZ! Had an uneventful 1.5 hrs drive there and was pleasantly surprised to see the DZ with lotsa of folks and plenty of familiar faces. The regulars were there and some of those guys remembered me and we exchanged pleasantries. Met Scott and told him I'm all set for AFF2, went through some hanging harness drills, dirtdives and basically was waiting for my turn to go up. BTW, HW was there with me and was making a tandem, think he got really scared when I told him he had to sit on the edge of the plane before exiting and later he told me he was SCREAMING aot during his jump.... keke

For AFF2 I have to demonstate stability, do my practice rip cord touches (PRCTs), if altitude permits(>6000 feet) some team turns. No problem I thought, trying to calm myself before the jump. When we reach 10,500 feet, I climbed out of the plane without any major door fear issues and remembered to stand only on one foot with right foot trailing in the slipstream. Upon the count, it was like whoa, we were almost verticle and we quickly got to a belly to earth position, I thought I was pretty stable at some point. At 5500 I pulled on time and was fascinated to see my two instructors still freefalling and tracking away from one another. I thought I had a good jump but Scott said although I did all that was required for this jump, I still had some leg issues. My legs were not out enough, not feeling the wind, basically just too stiff and falling like a block of wood. They call this 'potato chipping'. One NEEDS to have a solid arch and arms and legs out in a certain position to maintain stability. I had to redo AFF2.... That was a horrendous feeling, suddenly you ask yourself if you were cut out for the sport. Because there wasn't enough time for me to get up in the air again that day due to SG's wedding, we had to head back to indy.

I had actually planned to go Chicago on Sunday and couldn't go back to the DZ the next day, on my drive back to indy I thought wat the hell, I going back to the dropzone and giving Chicago a miss. I figured the drive to and from Chicagho is 7 hours, driving to the dropzone takes 3 hours both ways and I'll have lots more fun at the dropzone so I guess I'd rather be there on sunday!

Woke up at about 9, called up the dropzone and was told skies were overcast. Checked out weather.com and it seems the clouds would clear up by mid afternoon, so I did my weekly chores and began my 77 mile drive to the DZ. On my way there, I was apprehensive about the jump cos I was really scared I'll fail again. For one, the cost of the early AFF jumps are very expensive and it really is a damper to spirits to fail the 'easy' levels. But hey I was going to try my best, stay relaxed, focused and later I realised, smiling while freefalling helps a big bunch!

It was much quieter on Sunday but some regulars were there with some other faces that were familiar... The skies had cleared up by this time but winds were still a little strong, I had to wait for the winds to die down... Oh crap. This was about 1510. So basically, I drove 1.5 hours and had no clear chance of jumping. I really felt I needed to jump because I'll be away to Toronto the coming weekend and no one knows what the weather would be like the week after that. And the 2 weeks away from the DZ would do me no good, skydiving is a sport where one really needs to do it frequently to be comfortable with the enviroment, after all things are moving at 120mph in freefall, it takes quite a little getting used to! Well, so I just hung out at the DZ chatted with folks and Scott was saying he was really glad to see me back to do more jumps. In fact they were talking about me last night and they were glad to see my enthusiam for the sport, he says it;s not often you get new people very interested, and most people come and go. Finally the winds started clearing up and there were 2 loads before me, a tandem and some coach jumps. I had some time to rehearse through my jump dive flow again and this time I kept telling myself to remember to breathe and stay relaxed...

Finally it was my turn to go up and we were making the usual small talk on the ride up to altitude. The flight up can be nervewrecking, you start thinking about why you are jumping out of a perfectly fine aircraft and the possibility of a malfunction and getting yourself killed. Once the jump door opens, there is no time to think, climb out hang on to the wing strut, check in, check out, (take deep breath) PROP, UP, DOWN, ARCH. I was much more comfortable on this jump and for the first time, I felt the wind on my legs, turned to Anthony (a new JM I never jumped with) shouted out the altitude to him, I was smiling and relaxed, I can't believe thatI was that relaxed after all that stiffness during the last jump. Turned to Scott, shouted the altitude, I was grinning and he knew I was having fun. :-) The rest of the jump continued and we even managed to get 2 turns in, wheee, I'm learning how to turn while in freefall. At pull altitude, I was a little lower than 5500, Anthony gave me the dump signal, I reached for the pilot chute but then went off to do a wave off and then went for the pilot chute again, by this time Scott had already pulled my pilot chute out. Shit, hope I didn't screw up, I shoulda just pulled and forgot that I didn;t need to do the waveoff when given the dump signal.

The canopy ride this time was differnt from the last 2 jumps due to the higer winds, my legs were flailing aroung with the turns, woohoo... the turns were much faster and it was really fun. After doing a couple of hard turns, I stopped to enjoy the scenery which was as usual breathtaking. It feels so good to be alive and under a parachute, how many people can claim to have had a view like this once in their life? With nothing but air below you and suspended in mid-air on some pieces on nylon, it is an unreal experience. Still didn't manage to do a stand up landing but hell any jump I can walk away without injury is a good jump. Picked up the parachute and was grinning ear to ear walking back to the hanger.

During the debrief, Anthony said if I was potato chipping yesterday he didn't buy it as I was stable throught the freefall. Scott said I was boring because I was STABLE, he was looking for some action. I asked them if they helped me with te turns and they nope they were just following me. :-) I passed AFF2!

I proceeded to make another jump and was on the last load of the day, what we call the sunset load. For this jump, I only had to maintain stability and the JM's will let go on me one by one. After which, I just had to maintain my heading , locking on to an object on the horizon and fall down vertically without any forward motion or back sliding. During the jump everything went as planned and I didn't even know they had let go of me, I was finally freefalling stably on my own! Deployed on time and I took a few deep breathes and enjoyed the view of the sun going down. Skydiving is such an amazing sport. It was a beautiful day and I think I'll remember it for a long,long time. ;-) Blue skies!

Cut away

How much will you give up to pursue a life without material comforts and a capitalistic society. So many of us lead normal lives, have 'normal' jobs, have you ever thought about cutting away from it all and just do what you've always wanted to do? I know it's hard but I've seen people do it, it'll probably freak out my mum but there's a little part of me out there just wishing and hoping that I can do that some day. Ideals and dreams, are they more of a blessing or a curse?