Rendezvous with Destiny...

If you have nothing better to do....

2007-06-20T03:59:00.001-04:00

http://www.handdrawngames.com/DesktopTD/

2007-05-01T09:54:00.000-04:00

I need to jump out of airplanes again.

Fried

2007-04-15T07:53:00.000-04:00

Went to moi first wakeboarding session yesterday, wasn't too bad. Can stand for a short while on the 3rd try. Tried to be xtra give a thumbs up then ended up drinking water, lol... Did more horsing around and drank more water, maybe I should try going in a straight line first... Just can't help trying to do something extra, going in a straight line just seems plain boring. Hmm, mebbe I'm trying to run before I can walk?? Oh well, had fun and that's the most important thing.
The aftermath of the fun, $60 buckaroos tata and my legs hurt like hell today.. why? cos they look like this!! Stupid me nvr pull down my boardshorts!!

Back and chest burning as well, hope it heals soon.

Some boliao stuff,

Your Birthdate: September 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life.
And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others.
You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented.
Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage.

Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck

Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Half Moon

Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Richmond boogie recaps

2007-04-11T22:46:00.000-04:00

Found some old vids of the Richmond Boogie 06. I'm the guy in red helmet at abt 4:50 and 8:00 min, check out the huge grin on my face... keke miss freefalling with friends n haf the whole skies to ourselves and no worries whatsoever...

Just another vid of silly things people do in the skies. Enjoy!

Outta place

2007-04-05T04:30:00.000-04:00

It's been a week since I came back, been basically binge eating daily. Room's still in a mess.... Still trying to adjust to the heat and people en masse here, it's a daily struggle. Nearly collasped in the heat after a 5k run yesterday, guess there's a lot more work to do before I can be fit enuf for the standard chartered marathon.... Anyways, I was spending the last few days trying to fix up my rig and get my internet connection up so that explains my lack of time online. It doesn't help that I'm having probs with getting an email at work (another bummer) so basically been spending 2-3 hrs for lunch daily then getting off at about 4-5. :P I guess the most abysmal thing I see back home is the much lower quality of service I get here compared to america, I mean when I go sim lim to buy something and I ask for some info, I expect to have some minimum standard of service. Unfortunately, what I see so far has been dissapointing and as what I told my colleagues, I go to the shop which gives me the most smiles. I think it's silly to be spending one's hard earned $$ at some stupid shop that doesn't give 2 hoots abt u or gives u attitude when one has questions. Enough of ranting, probably I should just suck it up n enjoy the 'service' here. I think I can understand what people mean by changi airport not having good service when it dropped to 4th in the world airports ranking... Worldclass city? *skeptical*

Homebound

2007-03-22T21:41:00.000-04:00

Time to pack my bags and go, bittersweet feelings. Loads of memories the last 19 mths, travelled most of the US and parts of Canada, got my skydiving license. Last but not least, the friendships forged here. Hopefully I'll have a chance to be back in the land of the free very soon.....

every beginning has an end, the end marks a new beginning....

2007-02-27T09:39:00.000-05:00

This is it, in a few hours time I'll hand over the keys of my apartment. As I'm still here updating my blog for the first time in many months, many thoughts run through my mind. It's a pity 2 of them are already gone, I sent them off to the airport this morning. We never had a real proper farewell, we should have drank a toast to the good times, hug and cry and laugh together for one last time. To all those who were part of NP1, we know that we'll never live through something like that ever again, hold on to the memories and never let it fade away.... Love u follks! Thank you all, thank you for the memories....

Messing around in Grand Teton National Park Campground

Grand Teton
At yellowstone national park spotting bears with a beautiful rainbow across the horizon
Entering Yellowstone...
Leaving at the same time. :P
At the Upper (or Lower?) Yellowstone FallsOn the way up to Mt. Washburn, made them do my 往天 pose
Sunset

Memories to last a lifetime....

Jonathon Livingston Seagull

2006-11-29T15:51:00.000-05:00

Some interesting quotes from Jonathon Livingston Seagull

"Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. "

"You will begin to touch heaven, Jonathan, in the moment that you touch perfect speed. And that isn't flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, or flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfection doesn't have limits. Perfect speed, my son, is being there. "

"The only true law is that which leads to freedom," Jonathan said. "There is no other."

2006-11-16T09:32:00.000-05:00

I miss the blue skies, the last update was the last time I jumped. Sometimes I look up at the skies and I reminise about the past season, my first jump, the uncontrollable spinning learning how to turn, my first dock, tracking through the clouds, my first 10 way(went to shit though :P), flying my canopy through the clouds into a round rainbow, remembering the big grin I have when the jumps door opens, of being catapulted across the skies, the Richmond tube jump, leaving the plane back to earth and see it fly away and many more memories that I will take with me to my grave...

Many may ask why the obsession with this skydiving thing? Someone said this online, 'the 60 sec break from life is essentially what skydiving is all about', this quote seems to hit the nail for me. Let's face it, all of us have our crosses to bear, our share of troubles and responsibilities. When I take to the air, all chains to the earth are broken. For that few minutes I feel truly free and time seems to slow down for me as I marvel at the beauty of the earth or the sunset from up there. Falling at 120mph, seeing the grins on my friends faces, it is something that cannot be explained only experienced. I feel alive and immortal when I'm in my element. A common jumper saying goes like this, those who do it, can't explain it, those who don't do it, don't understand it. I guess that's that. My constant need to feel alive and affirm my place on this earth binds me to the sport as well. To sit down on my couch and die while watching tv or have a massive myocardial infarction because I've been on my ass and getting fat ain't my cup of tea. That's not how I want to live my life.

Looking back at the past year, I managed to clear 2.5/3 of the goals I set out for myself, getting a skydiving license, driving license and I've completed a half marathon(instead of a full). In between, I've travelled to a few places in the states and canada visiting cities and national parks. This coming weekend, I'll be off to the west coast again, LA, San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, Sequoia and Yosemite National Park will be the places I'm hitting.... I guess it's been a year well spent?

Late fall: leaves have fallen and winter is almost upon us. Soon the full harshness of winter will set in and as the bare trees will attest to, the cold cold nights will be here to stay. There are a couple of months left in my stint in indy, enjoy the ride and look forward to my big trip (hopefully europe) after my stint here ends. Till then, live well and love life the way it should be. Carpe Diem.

2006-10-12T13:30:00.000-04:00

Attempting to do a bat hang off the little Cessna, my feet was hanging off the wing! FUN FUN FUN!

Love my new t-shirt too, pigs can fly!

2006-10-03T10:36:00.000-04:00

Watched an old classic, Cinema Paradiso a couple of weeks back, love this song (albeit sung much later) by Josh Groban

Cinema Paradiso
Music by Ennio Morricone and Andrea Morricone --

Lyrics:

Se tu fossi nei miei occhi per un giorno
Vedresti la bellezza che piena d’allegria
Io trovo dentro gli occhi tuoi
E nearo se magia o lealta

Se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno
Potreste avere un’idea
Di cio che sento io
Quando m’abbracci forte a te
E petto a petto, noi
Respiriamo insieme

Protagonista del tuo amor
Non so se sia magia
O lealta

Se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno
Sapresti cosa sono in me
Che m’innamorai
Da quell’istante insieme a te
E cio che provo e
Solamente amore

Fall is upon us, leaves are slowly but surely changing colour with the advent of colder weather. Beautiful things don't last forever but nonetheless we should always savor it in its full glory.... Pretty much exhausted after the last 2 weekend trips to Chicago and Niagara Falls/Toronto. Gotta get me some needed rest and of course get my knees in the breeze this weekend!

Bittersweet

2006-09-05T20:21:00.000-04:00

The most anticipated skydiving activity of the season is over, many new friends made, stories told over beer and of course a great many skydives. Sat out due to weather from Thursday to Saturday. Got on the sunrise load on Sunday and proceeded to make 9 skydives that day culmulating in a sunset dive and 6 more jumps on monday. Learnt what a sucky skydiver I am now and how much I have to learn, had shits loads of fun on the hybrid, the 6-way tube and many other jumps I did with the gang. Goofing off in the air, complaining about the s.o.b. who farted (twice!) on the sunrise load, there's so much in this boogie that I'll remember for a long time. Skydiving is not just about the skydives, the amazing people you meet in the sport is what holds us together. People from all walks of life with the same passion, the freedom that we all long to embrace and go to when we're bound to the ground. It was a bittersweet feeling when I left at 1530 yesterday, knowing that it could be a long time before I have a chance to be at the Richmond boogie again. Such is life, forget not the little moments and friendships forged in those small moments in your life for you'll never relive it again... Until we meet again, blue skies to all those who dare to fly without wings. FLY FREE!

Boogie day 3

2006-09-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

At the midwest's best kept secret, the Richmond boogie. You may be asking now what the hell is a boogie?? Well, it's a skydiver convention of sorts and jumpers from all over the country gather here. In the old days there'd be like more than 1000 skydivers here, nowadays things are quieter but we still see quite a few peeps ard. Managed to get in 4 jumps on the first day despite shitty weather and basically sat out the whole of yesterday. As for today, there were some loads up but the winds were a little too high for my comfort so I decided to sit it out.

Nonetheless, I've seen some pretty crazy shit going on when the bonfires on. People getting nekkid and jumping over bonfires, boobs flashing and folks streaking the party.... Haha, I love these bunch of folks. Trust me, it ain't lewd but instead I find it mighty hilarious. Well, Ihope the parties get better, got a live band later tonight. Later!

Where's weide?

2006-08-17T08:08:00.000-04:00

Let's see, where have I been and doing for the last 2 months.
First and foremost, had a great time camping at the National Parks from 1st July-10th(11th) July.
Skydiving every weekend since I came back.
Movies nights every friday.
Chilling at the pool
Not that much running, been slacking after NP trip :P
National Day celebration :S
Canoeing and a visit to the Marengo Caves last weekend...
Trying to catch up on my bedtime reading

To darn lazy to write out all the things, mebbe post some pics later when back at home?

4 jumps away from my 'A' license, 2 weeks to the boogie! Can't wait! Blew $400 on 20 jump tix, gonna jump, jump, jump my ass off. blue skies!

Dance with the Wind

2006-06-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Feel the wind in your face. Feel it carry you on your ride. This is your pilgrimage to another world, another place, another dimension. Realize you're sharing the vastness of space with the air. The air is a friend. It welcomes you to it's world.

Enjoy the sights, enjoy the show. View the world through a whole new perspective. See the world as it really is.

Feel fortunate. You're experiencing the thrill of flight, the freedom of movement, a dance with the wind.

Relish the isolation, the privacy, the moments of self. Enjoy the peace that comes with separation and silence.

Bond with the wind, the birds, and the clouds. Know that there are others with you, and that you all know something the rest of the world does not.

Have faith in the friend on your back. Be comforted that it is there for you. Know that you will tell the world of your brief dance with the wind, the clouds, and the Earth.

Take the adventure for all it's worth. Learn what the experience has to teach you. Realize all your problems are in a different world, and cannot reach you where you are.

You are free. If only for a few minutes, you don't have any problems. You don't have any concerns, worries, distractions or expectations.
You are free.
You are finally free!

Cleared to jump solo... WOOT! note to self about irresponsible dorks

2006-06-19T22:31:00.000-04:00

What else is there to blog about except my weekend numbers. :P Got two more jumps last saturday. and I'm cleared to jump solo! Had to do one more jump to work on my turns, this time it was slightly different, not the usual 180, 360 deg turns but just need to keep my eye on my AFF-I and turn whever he is. Was much more relaxed on this jump somehow, I'm not sure if it was Jim giving me this piece of advice, "When the door opens, just fuck it and jump". A lightbulb suddenly went off in my head and I told myself hell yea, you got 2 fucking parachutes on your back, screw the door fear. Had an unlinked exit, checked altitude then Scott zipped infront on me. He made some turns to my left and right and I was able to keep up with him. Somehow your body would follow where your eyes are looking, it's like when one is driving sometimes when you glance off the the side for a while you would drift in that direction.... Anyways, I still can't flare (flaring is to convert forward spped to lift to slow down the parachute for a landing) for shit's sake and gotta freaking plf again. Had the usual big silly grin on my face after I had landed safely and was finally cleared off doing turns.
The DZ was somewhat busier today and I had to wait a while for my next jump. This time I was to make a diving exit, meaning literally just chiong out of the plane, without hanging on to the wingstrut and one foot to the wheel, sounds fun! The key to this dive was to get into a disorienting position and recover into a stable position within 5 seconds and next... drum rolls... do some barrel rolls and front loops, back loops or disorienting procedure. Waited for like 2-3 hrs for that jump and I was damn psyched up for it cos I knew this was the fun shit... hehe finally can do some aerobatics. On the ride up I was staring at the big expanse of blue skies, the view is really gorgeous from up there and one has a it's a great day to be alive kinda feeling. :-)
10,500 feet, DOOR! instructor opens the door, I had to spot (determine place to exit the plane) and basically that mean sticking out one's head one look straight down to see where the plane is heading relative to the ground. The spot today was right over the airport and when I stuck my head out and looked down, we were just on the runway, since the climbout needed some time, I gave Wes (my instructor) the thumbs out to indicate we should climbout and GO! He was hanging on to the wing and I got in position at the door, next, I looked and him and said READY, SET, GO! Off we went into freefall, arched hard and regained stability. Check altitude, ok, went into a tracking position to get some forward motion, ok here goes, right hand on chest, I flip over sideways, it was earth, sky then earth again. No shit that was DAMN fun! Arch, check altitude ok here goes the back flip, push hard with hands and legs in, whoaaa earth sky and earth again. My god, I'm really beginning to like this shit... keke 7k feet, let's do a left barrel roll, ok track left hand tap on chest, corkscrews 180deg. woohoo!! 6k feet, damn shall I go for one more manuveur? Saw Wes give me the thumbs up, heck lemme chiong one more backloop, ready, legs innnnn, holy shit that's mighty FUN. Got stable at about 5 grand, locked to altimeter, wave off at 4.5k and PULL! Nylon billows out of my rig and catches air, WOOHOO! Did a couple of spirals, pulled on the toggles as hard as I could to get the spirals moving, was so fun though a bit blur after a few rounds... Landed without incident, what a rush! I' fucking doing aerobatics in the air... :-)
At the debrief, Wes said I did well. He asked me which of the barrel rolls and back flips I thought I did better in the latter attempts for both and he said yesh... In my logbook, it says

"Off axis barrel roll, alti aware
Off axis back loop, alti aware
Great left barrel roll, alti aware
Textbook backloop, Great!
Very alti aware, Pulled on time
Good canopy control
Cleared for Cat "F"."

The best part about this jump? It was supposed to be completed in 2 jumps but I nailed it in one! Hehe, si peh gan happy...

Alright, enough of the skydiving shit, sunday was my long run day was supposed to do a 12 miler(19.2k). There was this guy who was training with me and johno but he somewhat was sick for a mth and didn't train, FYI, he was complaining of difficulty breathing and coughing plus got asthma, so I was like dude take it eazy and just do a 5k for starters. Johno wanted to do a 6miler(abt 10k) and wanted to do his own pace, ok that's cool with me. I went off slightly faster and this other guy tried to keep up with me for the first 2 miles, and then tells me he wants to follow me for the full 12mile. Along the way, I was like telling him to take it easy (nicely) and that he should just do an easy 3 miler. By the end of 2 miles, he was intent on following me and that got me damn pissed, that joker just recovered from a freaking mth long illness, the previous longest run he had in months was 6 miles and now he wants to follow me for 12. No shit I'm not gonna let him do that just because he wants to cos the trail can be pretty quiet and if the shit hits the fan for him, I'm screwed I dun wanna carry him back. I was ganning himn the rest of the way until 4 miles when I couldn't take it anymore and decided to turn back and screw my run cos any longer he goes wif me just increases the chance of me getting into shit. I won't give a damn if he's doing it alone but if he's wif me, I can't bo chap him and leave him there. Anyways, at this juncture he finally realises how pissed I am and says okok, you continue your run, I'm going back. K, fine good for you, lim peh continue mi run. I was still damn aggitated and dulan as I continued my run as I wondered how somehow can be so childish in his actions, cmon man, take care of your body and your body will take care of you! Even if he can complete the 12 miler, this ain't mean shit to me as I'm not gonna train with someone who is irresposible and inconsiderate towards his friend. I don;t think I'm over-reacting as essentially, I feel I AM looking out for him and also for myself. Anyways, had a damn screwed up run was struggling most of the way after he turned back, most probably due to the fact that I used up quite a bit of energy ganning him? Well, it's not a problem as I can always do my long run some other day but if he pengs, I dun wanna be caught dead in the crap. After I came back, he apologised for acting that way, says he got 'issues on his mind', I was like fuck you man, you sort out your shit or can talk to others but dun be irresposible and possibly get your friends into shit. Bottomline, no more running with this bloke.

360 Playground

2006-06-04T00:39:00.000-04:00

Got up early today to the dropzone, reached at about 915am and started talking to people to address my fears and concerns. Did managed to get myself prepped for AFF4 jump but decided to wait a while before going up to let my nerves settle. Was up in the 3 load with Scott and on this jump I had to do some 90 deg and 180 turns. Had some morbid thoughts on the ride up to altitude but tried to concentrate on the dive instead. Anyways, the moment the jump door opened I went like 'shit, why am I jumping out of airplanes again?'.... On the dive, Scott would be holding on to my harness at the side but would fly to my front once I'm stable and LET go and I'd do the turns on my own. Well, the moment his hands went off, I started a slow spin to the left, had a bit of brain fart up in the air and I worsened the spin by trying to turn leftwards further! Dumb... Scott managed to grab me on my right to stabalise me but the moment he let go I started spinning again, damn this sux big time. Anyways, managed to stay altitude aware during the spins (thank god) and pulled on time. Had a lot of fun doing 360 deg turns and fooling around with the canopy.... As expected, had to redo the jump and was told I'm too stiff that's why the spin started. Ok, point taken, must relac.... dammit as a student the only darn thing to do is relac.
On my 2nd jump, the JM was now Anthony (which I did a jump with on my 4th jump). As usual, I was too stiff and on first attempt to turn I flipped on my back! Shit, that's no good I thought, I think I struggled for 2 seconds before doing a hard arch to regain stability. Then Anthony came over to my left and said 'relax'... at that instant in seemed like a lightbulb was switched on and somehow I did relax and managed to complete and stop a 90deg turn. After that it was pull time and had an uneventful ride down. Although I fucked the jump up the 2nd time, I thought my confidence grew a little knowing that I could now at least flip myself over if I arched hard enough.
Third jump of the day, now was with Jim an old bird with 33 years experience and an instructor examiner. At my climbout of the plane, he shouted relax, I smiled and let go of the plane. Had a slight dearch but managed to get myself stable but fuck Jim was not with me on exit. I panicked a little, did my altitude checks and decided to look more to my left and right to see if I could find him. Should I wave off and pull now as what I was taught when no jumpmasters are in sight? A few seconds later, he appeared like 15 feet in front of me and was grinning. I'm like damn this wasn't part of the plan, should I push my legs out and try to fly towards him? Before I knew it, he was beside me and I did my turns. Unfortunately on my third turn, I started a slow spin again and though I consciously tried to relax, the spin couldn't stop and later I realised it was because I didn't conteract it enough. Pulled a little high this time at 5k feet instead of 4k, guess it was because I was afraid the spin would get worse... At the debrief with Jim, I was like where were you?? That's not part of the plan, thought he was supposed to stay beside me and I told him I nearly pulled. He was like, hey you're a skydiver now, don't need me to stick to you all the time. It was then I realised indeed I was flying on my OWN and now I have a 360 deg playground.....

Blue skies, black death

2006-05-31T23:36:00.000-04:00

The last weekend has been a very tragic one for the skydiving community, 5 skydivers were set free and went into eternal freefall. It definitely shook me up quite a bit to read about these incidents and I believe this is the first time I have felt that sad for people I've never known and passed on. I jump knowing that everytime I let go of the plane, I'm going to die unless I do something to save my ass. But having such a dark weekend definitely hits home the message that yes you CAN die from skydiving and yes you WILL lose friends if you stay in the sport long enough. It is so hard to explain to someone why you jump, most people will think you're crazy, foolhardy, etc. I barely know the skydivers at my home dropzone and yet I have a bond with them and I'm fucking sure that I'm going to have a long lasting friendship with some of them. When the world doesn't understand you and someone instantly knows why you want to step out of a perfectly fine airplane, you will treasure that friendship and comraderie with these people. I think I'm able to deal with the intellectual part of losing my life in this sport but the emotional aspect of possibly losing a friend or having to put your family through the stress is the hard part.

I thought long and hard about whether I want to continue jumping the last night and somehow it's really hard to come to a conclusion. Maybe I just need to talk to someone who's been around for a while for better advice.... Even though I'm just a 4 jump wonder, I cannot even begin to articulate the high one gets from skydiving and now I'm not sure sure if I can deal with the lows that this sport come with. Every thing in life has a balance huh, when you're having the time of your life flying the blue skies do not forget the black earth can take it all away in an instant.

Fly free all those who have left us....

Male guide to the female point system

2006-05-25T08:17:00.000-04:00

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
You offer to do the wash (+10)
You use the right detergent (+10)
You put in her slacks and blouses (+10)
The slacks are white and the blouses are red (-500)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

A NIGHT OUT(II, Guy's scoring system)
You see an ex-boyfriend (0)
You start up a conversation with him (-5)
You introduce me as, "Oh, by the way, this is..." (-50)
He's better looking than me (-100)
He's more successful than me (-250)
He's smarter than me (-500)
You share a giggle over some inside joke (-1,000)
You smile radiantly and say, "We should keep in touch." (-10,001)
You say I'm a better lover than he was (0)
In front of him (+5,000)
And mean it (+5,000)
We see my ex-wife (0)
You ignore her (+100)
She won't ignore you (0)
You smile and then punch her in the head (+1,000)
And kick her while she's down (+5,000)
Then backhand her boyfriend (+100)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)

ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)

COMMUNICATION II (Guy's scoring system)
You say, "We need to talk." (0)
You talk (-10)
Incessantly (-20)
You ask the same questions over and over (-30)
And whine while doing it (-40)
You doubt my ability to watch TV and listen to you (-50)
You pout like a child (-60)
You give me the silent treatment (+10)
And don't sigh while doing it (+20)
Or slam anything (+30)
Even mad, you ask me to come to bed with you (+40)
And cuddle up next to me (+50)
And whisper you're "not tired" (+60)
And show me how "not tired" you are (+70)
Twice (+100)
Three times (+500)

Sunset load

2006-05-22T22:15:00.000-04:00

Back to the dropzone after a break of almost 1 month! Things screwed up the night before the jump and I wasn't able to get the rental car, anyways, did manage to sort that out in the morning and off to the DZ! Had an uneventful 1.5 hrs drive there and was pleasantly surprised to see the DZ with lotsa of folks and plenty of familiar faces. The regulars were there and some of those guys remembered me and we exchanged pleasantries. Met Scott and told him I'm all set for AFF2, went through some hanging harness drills, dirtdives and basically was waiting for my turn to go up. BTW, HW was there with me and was making a tandem, think he got really scared when I told him he had to sit on the edge of the plane before exiting and later he told me he was SCREAMING aot during his jump.... keke

For AFF2 I have to demonstate stability, do my practice rip cord touches (PRCTs), if altitude permits(>6000 feet) some team turns. No problem I thought, trying to calm myself before the jump. When we reach 10,500 feet, I climbed out of the plane without any major door fear issues and remembered to stand only on one foot with right foot trailing in the slipstream. Upon the count, it was like whoa, we were almost verticle and we quickly got to a belly to earth position, I thought I was pretty stable at some point. At 5500 I pulled on time and was fascinated to see my two instructors still freefalling and tracking away from one another. I thought I had a good jump but Scott said although I did all that was required for this jump, I still had some leg issues. My legs were not out enough, not feeling the wind, basically just too stiff and falling like a block of wood. They call this 'potato chipping'. One NEEDS to have a solid arch and arms and legs out in a certain position to maintain stability. I had to redo AFF2.... That was a horrendous feeling, suddenly you ask yourself if you were cut out for the sport. Because there wasn't enough time for me to get up in the air again that day due to SG's wedding, we had to head back to indy.

I had actually planned to go Chicago on Sunday and couldn't go back to the DZ the next day, on my drive back to indy I thought wat the hell, I going back to the dropzone and giving Chicago a miss. I figured the drive to and from Chicagho is 7 hours, driving to the dropzone takes 3 hours both ways and I'll have lots more fun at the dropzone so I guess I'd rather be there on sunday!

Woke up at about 9, called up the dropzone and was told skies were overcast. Checked out weather.com and it seems the clouds would clear up by mid afternoon, so I did my weekly chores and began my 77 mile drive to the DZ. On my way there, I was apprehensive about the jump cos I was really scared I'll fail again. For one, the cost of the early AFF jumps are very expensive and it really is a damper to spirits to fail the 'easy' levels. But hey I was going to try my best, stay relaxed, focused and later I realised, smiling while freefalling helps a big bunch!

It was much quieter on Sunday but some regulars were there with some other faces that were familiar... The skies had cleared up by this time but winds were still a little strong, I had to wait for the winds to die down... Oh crap. This was about 1510. So basically, I drove 1.5 hours and had no clear chance of jumping. I really felt I needed to jump because I'll be away to Toronto the coming weekend and no one knows what the weather would be like the week after that. And the 2 weeks away from the DZ would do me no good, skydiving is a sport where one really needs to do it frequently to be comfortable with the enviroment, after all things are moving at 120mph in freefall, it takes quite a little getting used to! Well, so I just hung out at the DZ chatted with folks and Scott was saying he was really glad to see me back to do more jumps. In fact they were talking about me last night and they were glad to see my enthusiam for the sport, he says it;s not often you get new people very interested, and most people come and go. Finally the winds started clearing up and there were 2 loads before me, a tandem and some coach jumps. I had some time to rehearse through my jump dive flow again and this time I kept telling myself to remember to breathe and stay relaxed...

Finally it was my turn to go up and we were making the usual small talk on the ride up to altitude. The flight up can be nervewrecking, you start thinking about why you are jumping out of a perfectly fine aircraft and the possibility of a malfunction and getting yourself killed. Once the jump door opens, there is no time to think, climb out hang on to the wing strut, check in, check out, (take deep breath) PROP, UP, DOWN, ARCH. I was much more comfortable on this jump and for the first time, I felt the wind on my legs, turned to Anthony (a new JM I never jumped with) shouted out the altitude to him, I was smiling and relaxed, I can't believe thatI was that relaxed after all that stiffness during the last jump. Turned to Scott, shouted the altitude, I was grinning and he knew I was having fun. :-) The rest of the jump continued and we even managed to get 2 turns in, wheee, I'm learning how to turn while in freefall. At pull altitude, I was a little lower than 5500, Anthony gave me the dump signal, I reached for the pilot chute but then went off to do a wave off and then went for the pilot chute again, by this time Scott had already pulled my pilot chute out. Shit, hope I didn't screw up, I shoulda just pulled and forgot that I didn;t need to do the waveoff when given the dump signal.

The canopy ride this time was differnt from the last 2 jumps due to the higer winds, my legs were flailing aroung with the turns, woohoo... the turns were much faster and it was really fun. After doing a couple of hard turns, I stopped to enjoy the scenery which was as usual breathtaking. It feels so good to be alive and under a parachute, how many people can claim to have had a view like this once in their life? With nothing but air below you and suspended in mid-air on some pieces on nylon, it is an unreal experience. Still didn't manage to do a stand up landing but hell any jump I can walk away without injury is a good jump. Picked up the parachute and was grinning ear to ear walking back to the hanger.

During the debrief, Anthony said if I was potato chipping yesterday he didn't buy it as I was stable throught the freefall. Scott said I was boring because I was STABLE, he was looking for some action. I asked them if they helped me with te turns and they nope they were just following me. :-) I passed AFF2!

I proceeded to make another jump and was on the last load of the day, what we call the sunset load. For this jump, I only had to maintain stability and the JM's will let go on me one by one. After which, I just had to maintain my heading , locking on to an object on the horizon and fall down vertically without any forward motion or back sliding. During the jump everything went as planned and I didn't even know they had let go of me, I was finally freefalling stably on my own! Deployed on time and I took a few deep breathes and enjoyed the view of the sun going down. Skydiving is such an amazing sport. It was a beautiful day and I think I'll remember it for a long,long time. ;-) Blue skies!

Cut away

2006-05-16T22:50:00.000-04:00

How much will you give up to pursue a life without material comforts and a capitalistic society. So many of us lead normal lives, have 'normal' jobs, have you ever thought about cutting away from it all and just do what you've always wanted to do? I know it's hard but I've seen people do it, it'll probably freak out my mum but there's a little part of me out there just wishing and hoping that I can do that some day. Ideals and dreams, are they more of a blessing or a curse?

The Wonder Beyond

2006-04-24T21:36:00.000-04:00

Article taken from http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050807/SPT/508070409/-1/CINCI
This accident happened at my home DZ but I felt was a moving article about what skydiving truly is, kudos to the reporter.

Skydivers gather to celebrate the life of Sean Crossman, and to affirm their appreciation for
BY PAUL DAUGHERTY | ENQUIRER STAFF WRITER
The morning of July 2 broke beautiful, blue and cool. Geoff Sean Crossman, 37, threw open the hangar doors at Skydive Wayne County in Richmond, Ind., and said to the establishment's owner, Jaime Praeter, "What a beautiful day for skydiving."

They were all beautiful, was how he saw it. There were no bad days up there, 13,000 feet high, jumping out the big, wide door of a single-engine Porter, free-falling a mile in less than a minute, deploying the main canopy of the Set 400 tandem parachute, dubbed "Mellow Yellow" for the softness of its ride, then drifting, drifting, drifting, several minutes, just long enough to relax and admire all the goodness in the world.

Sean's friend and teacher, "Dad" Steve Stewart, put it like this: "Aqua skies, puffy clouds, the curvature of the earth. I just look at that and I wonder beyond."

Wonder beyond. Yes.

There are things beyond knowing. What is beauty and what is truth, and why are they different for each of us? What is dangerous, what is life-affirming, and where is the line between the two? Why did Sean Crossman, the safest skydiver anyone knew, the most enthusiastic jumper of them all, the one most full of life, have to die?

Here is what happened on the afternoon of July 2: Sean Crossman, an expert skydiver and licensed instructor, took a 21-year-old student named Casey Bischof up for a tandem jump. Sean's good friend Jason Yasuda would videotape the jump as a memento for Bischof. They leaped from the plane at 13,000 feet.

At 6,000 feet, Sean gave Jason the "wave-off," a thumbs-up signal that he would be opening the main canopy of the Set 400 tandem parachute. While filming, Jason steered himself away, above and to one side, to allow clearance for Sean's chute. Bischof was attached to Sean, dependent on the instructor's parachute.

Things went wrong. Mellow Yellow opened much too quickly and surged up and into Jason. Yasuda was still free-falling, at an estimated 110 mph; Sean was going about 70. They collided at 5,500 feet.

Minutes later, Sean Crossman lay in a cornfield, dead of multiple blunt-force injuries to the head and torso. His aorta torn, his neck broken, his body a husk, all that remained were his soul and his spirit. They floated like angels over the Indiana summertime.

This story won't be much about that, except to say Sean Crossman probably never knew what happened, and that he died in a fashion he'd have preferred. The only thing he wouldn't have liked was the negative publicity such an accident naturally provokes. He loved skydiving so much, that would have saddened him.

So we'll let this be about how he lived. About how they all live, really. Because, as anyone who has ever jumped from an airplane attached only to a harness and a bundle of cloth knows, skydiving is not about death. It is about life, most acutely realized.

"How many people can say they've fallen through a cloud? "

Sean's friend and fellow skydiver Michael Lee

It's the ultimate leap of faith. Sean had done it more than 2,000 times, ever since he showed up at a drop zone in Waynesville while an undergraduate at Wittenberg College. "If he missed a weekend, it's because there was snow," recalled Steve Stewart, who owned the drop zone.

Skydiving isn't something you do just once. It might begin as a crazy wish. Who hasn't said, "Before I die, I'd like to jump from an airplane?"

A quest becomes an addiction. Wish becomes need, and soon enough, you're jumping every weekend, with others of like spirit. It's an extreme sport, yet it's meant for those with the souls of poets. You might go for the adrenaline rush. You stay for everything else.

"After awhile, you get used to the thrill," Lee said, "and you marvel at things."

Lee, 34, owns a business in Mount Adams. He's a rock climber and a scuba diver. He drives a motorcycle he claims "can hit 150 in seven or eight seconds." Lee has swum with the sharks at the Newport Aquarium. He has made more than 100 skydives. Sean was one of his instructors.

Lee calls each jump "a reaffirmation of who you are in this world. At the point of deployment, when the parachute opens, you are choosing to live. You're saying, 'I'm coming back.' "

Sean never had any doubts about coming back. There is a narrow band of wisdom that buffers fear from recklessness. He never crossed it. The only time anyone can recall him being angry while skydiving was after he'd been bumped in the air by a free-falling jumper who he believed to be careless. "I'm never getting into an airplane again with that guy," Sean had said.

For his solo jumps, he used the Manta, the Volvo of parachutes. The canopy of a Manta is 288 square feet, twice as large as the newer, faster parachutes. "Big and docile," Steve Stewart called it.

Sean's love of the sport naturally progressed to teaching it to others. "He was all about instruction, passing on the joy," said his friend Randy Connell. "For Sean, there was nothing like the 'first-jump smile,' that head-splitting grin the students got when they landed."

He made close to 1,000 jumps with students. He took up a student who was wheelchair-bound. He took up an 84-year-old. Sean had a knack for giving them all a soft landing, by turning his body just before impact and wrapping his legs around them. Sean would rise from the landing bruised on one side, grass stain running the length of his blue jumpsuit.

(He always wore the blue suit when with students, not the newer red model, with the black stripes, which he saved for his solo jumps. Students occasionally would throw up on the blue model during jumps, an occurrence that amused Sean more than anything.)

"If my grandmother ever made a jump, I'd want Sean to be her tandem master," Randy Connell said. On the jump that killed Sean, his student, Casey Bischof, walked away needing just 20 stitches, to close a cut on his face.

"No one who knew him ever said a bad thing about him. What could they say?"

- Sean's friend Chris Fraley

He was 6 feet 1, 180 pounds, taut and sinewy, blond. He looked like a basketball player - "Orangutan Arms," friends called him - but at Wittenberg he played football. He was in the caving club. On one of his first dates with his future wife, Maureen, they went spelunking.

He lost the tips of his pinky and third finger of his right hand years ago, to a wood shop accident. He had knee surgery after sliding into a base during a softball game. For a few years, he was a member of a competitive skydiving team called Fear Nada. Fear nothing.

He called people "dude." He had a word, a catch-all descriptive, for the best things in life: zesty. To Sean Crossman, "zesty" wasn't just an adjective. It was the way his world should be.

"Sean never did anything halfway," said Fraley. "When he was single, his apartment looked like something out of Better Homes and Gardens. After he married Maureen and had kids, he was all about being a dad and husband."

Sean had cut back his skydiving in recent years. Maureen wasn't thrilled about his hobby. Neither were his parents. He had two kids, 2-year-old Rachel, and Thomas, his 8-month-old son. Real life and skydiving don't mix well. Sean spent more time at home. He planted 50 oak trees in the yard of his Lebanon home. Neighbors often saw him pushing Rachel's stroller. He jumped two Saturdays a month.

That didn't lessen his zest for the sport. Three times, Chris Fraley had broken her back skydiving. That was due more to the brittleness of her bones than the rigors of the sport. Regardless, Sean was there each time, encouraging her to keep jumping. They jumped every year at Vandalia's July 4 celebration. The ritual for Sean was always the same: "Did you pack a chute for a soft, slow opening?" he'd ask Chris.

Then: "Welcome back" when they landed.

At SkyDive Wayne County, they paid Sean by the jump. Yet he never missed a staff meeting, even in the winter. Often, when owner Jaime Praeter arrived for work, Sean was already there, having made the 75-minute drive from Lebanon, waiting for Jaime to open up. Praeter's lasting image of Sean is of "him standing in front of the manifest counter, slapping his hands down and saying, 'What have you got for me today?'

"The day he died, he asked me, 'Boss, can I go out and get some food?' I laughed and said, 'Sean, I'm not your boss,' " Praeter recalled.

That same morning, Greg Bailey had run into Sean. Bailey is the safety and training adviser at Richmond Municipal Airport, where the drop zone is. As such, Bailey is the liaison between the drop zone, the skydivers and the U.S. Parachute Association. His job that day would be to conduct the investigation into Sean's death.

Bailey hadn't had a good morning. He mentioned it to Sean Crossman, who was incredulous. He wrapped Bailey in a bear hug. "You should be smiling," Sean said. "It's a beautiful day and we're skydiving."

Thirty-year-old Jason Yasuda is recovering physically. He was free-falling at 110 mph when he collided with Sean, collapsing the canopy and killing Sean. Jason suffered a shattered pelvis and five fractures in his back. Those wounds will heal, leaving scars.

He remembers everything. You wonder if he wishes he didn't: the smooth jump, the normal free fall, the gleeful looks on the faces of Sean and Casey Bischof. The wave-off, Sean's chute deploying ...

Why did it happen? How was it that the tandem chute that is supposed to take 10 to 15 seconds to open fully instead billowed in 1.7 seconds? Why did it surge forward, erratically, up and under Jason?

Why, when the tandem canopy is 400 square feet, and the people beneath it occupy just nine square feet, did Jason and Sean Crossman have to collide so completely? Said Randy Connell: "If Jason had been a foot back or to the front or to either side, it would have been ugly, but everyone would have survived. The window of collision was so small."

Jason lives in a wheelchair now. His life is a series of compromises. Unlike the limitlessness of skydiving, Jason Yasuda's world now is framed by all he can't do. And all he wishes he could take back. The video he shot preserved the horror.

"People that have seen the video can tell you it's not your fault, there's nothing you could have done," Jason said. "But you still ask yourself, 'What if I didn't go on that jump?' "

Nobody blames him. The video exonerates him. The local investigation is complete. Jason did nothing wrong. Yet the time he spent in the hospital was filled with flashbacks. He didn't want to close his eyes, because when he did, the movie played again and again. He had occupational, physical and psychological therapy.

He moved from his second-floor apartment in Hyde Park, because it didn't have an elevator, to a skydiving friend's ranch-style house in New Lebanon, west of Dayton. The friend ripped the sink from his guest bathroom, to allow Jason access in his wheelchair.

He expects to be in the wheelchair until early October. He hopes to walk then, first between parallel bars, then with the aid of a walker. Yasuda says there is "no time frame for walking normally."

He was teaching skydiving at the Richmond Municipal Airport. He can tell you exactly how many jumps he has made since he started in August 1999: 1,679. He'd made 600 jumps with his small, fast VX chute. He says he "can't wait" to get back in the air.

Here's the irony: Jason Yasuda didn't want to skydive. He was afraid of roller coasters as a kid. His younger brother begged him to try it, Jason said OK, then chickened out the night before the jump. Finally, he said, "If I go once, will you shut up?"

Jason Yasuda once skydived from the front seat of a biplane. The wings were above him, as was a set of handlebars. Jason grabbed the handlebars as the pilot flipped the plane. He hung upside down for a few seconds, then let go. It was the best jump he has ever made.

He thinks about that now, in the wheelchair, the horror of July 2 still vivid. But maybe not so much anymore.

"Jason hits the canopy and there's a blur. The next thing you see is the horizon. And a gentle spin."

- Randy Connell, after viewing Jason Yasuda's videotape

The collision knocked off Sean Crossman's helmet and they never found it. It's in the cornfield somewhere, about a quarter-mile east of Stateline Road. Everyone guesses it'll turn up in the fall, when the fields are mowed.

Greg Bailey, Scott Saluga and Roger Humphrey watched as Sean Crossman's parachute fluttered off course. Steve Stewart, 55, veteran of 6,000 jumps, wasn't overly concerned. The chute was open, the tandem riders were floating, everything looked OK. "I thought somebody busted a control line," Stewart recalled thinking.

But when a skydiver is a couple miles from the landing area, it is cause to wonder. Bailey, Humphrey and Saluga jumped into Humphrey's van. By then, Sean Crossman was dead and Jason Yasuda's back and pelvis were broken. "I just laid limp in the harness and tried to figure out what was going on," Yasuda says now.

"I grab my toggles and look for the drop zone. It's behind me. I'm not gonna make it. I'm surrounded by beanfields and cornfields. Then I see a house, a small patch of grass. I aim there. I set it down soft, on my stomach."

Randy Connell, himself a safety adviser, watched the video. "Just prior to impact, you see Jason's shadow. He has his arm and leg dug down really hard, trying to get out and away from (Sean's) main" canopy. "But between the lack of reaction time and the canopy stealing Jason's air ..."

Jason landed in a yard on Druley Road, west of Stateline, a mile from Sean. In his confused state - "I was kind of flopping through the sky," he says now - he'd had the presence of mind to deploy his chute at 4,000 feet. The men in Humphrey's van spotted an ambulance, then heard a call on the police radio: "There's another skydiver down in the cornfield."

They sped in that direction. The ambulance beat them there. They got out, ran into the field. Scott Saluga was the first to reach Sean. Greg Bailey was next. "Roger, he's gone," Bailey said to Humphrey. "He broke his neck."

Jason Yasuda thought he was paralyzed from the waist down. People from the house had seen him fall and not move. They'd already called 911 before they came running to his aid. "Do you need help?" they asked. "Can you move your fingers? Can you move your toes?"

Between 1999 and 2004, 173 people died skydiving. Twenty-two of those deaths were collision-related, according to the United States Parachute Association. It's a very low number, given that skydivers make an estimated 2.5 million to 3 million jumps a year. As a group, they are safety-conscious. But also aware of the risks.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather its complement," was how Randy Connell put it. Steve Stewart said it a different way:"As safe as we've made the sport, we're still jumping out of an airplane, dammit."

"Please let this be a celebration of Sean's life."

- Jason Yasuda

On Saturday at Richmond Municipal Airport, eight of Sean Crossman's friends jumped from 14,000 feet through a moody sky, to celebrate his life. Holding hands, they formed "a round" in the air. At 6,000 feet, about the height of the collision that killed Sean, Maggie Downs "tracked away" from the group, releasing her grip to free-fall. It was a nod to Sean.

Jason Yasuda sat in his wheelchair, in the grass between two runways, tracking the skydivers as they floated like butterflies to earth. A crowd of 40 or so friends had gathered. Occasionally, one would offer Jason a hug. His tears fell into his fists.

In the plane, the eight said a prayer for Sean's family before they jumped. They thanked God for having known him. After they broke the round, Chris Fraley did a barrel roll, something Sean always enjoyed watching her do when the two jumped together. Fraley landed in a patch of pea gravel in the grass. The gravel is a landing area for accuracy jumpers. Sean enjoyed accuracy jumping.

Scott Saluga landed at Jason Yasuda's feet, just where he intended. Maggie Downs, the last to land, popped up quickly, smiled immediately, then broke down as she hugged Yasuda. He is her boyfriend. When one skydiver dies, they all bleed.

The mystical and melancholy triumph of flying without their wingman lingered. "Until you've flown across the sky and touched your friends ..." Fraley said. "You can't know what this means."

They mourn his death, but no more than they celebrate his life. They know the risks; they're sensitive about what is said about them and their sport every time someone dies doing it.

But this is what their hearts know: Sometimes living fully means dying a little. If you don't know pain, how can you possibly understand joy? Every passion comes with a price.

They are the best of friends. Ultimately, this is what matters to them most. After the jumps, there are the stories. The "beer light" comes on and the fellowship begins. This odd, unique kinship among those who would fly without wings commences anew.

When Jason Yasuda was in the hospital, nearly 100 skydivers came to his bedside. "Every time I woke up, one was there," he said. Maureen Crossman was amazed by the number that attended her husband's visitation. She asked friends to gather a list of their names.

The skydivers who knew Sean Crossman know two things for sure: He was one of their best and they will jump again soon, if only to honor his memory.

Randy Connell: "How many people have you heard say skydivers must have a death wish? They are so wrong. If we had a death wish, we'd only make one jump, without a parachute.

"Skydivers have a life wish. There is no other activity as life-affirming. When you leave the airplane, you're dead unless you do something about it. Every deployment is a vote for the beauty of life."

Deploy, then, and blue skies. The wonder beyond beckons.

Flying

2006-04-23T16:00:00.000-04:00

Made my first freefall jump yesterday! climbing out out an aircraft flying at 100mph with 11,000 feet of air below you ain't the easiest thing to do. But once one is freefalling, the thrill and exhilaration is incredible, think this is just about the maximum returns one can get from spending $$$. Jumping from an aircraft, flying around and then under canopy with blue skies around you and the ability to see the world from *up there* at 4000 feet with legs dangling in the air, the feeling is just out of this world. Paid up for the full course and will hopefully head back to the dropzone soon to make some more! It helps that almost everyone is very friendly and makes it easy for a student to mix in with the old birds. Some may think skydivers have a death wish but after doing this I think I've never felt more alive. Blue skies!

Instructors Tobey on my right and Geoffrey on my left, the other guy was a static liner. My instructors were all over 50(!) and had more than 1.5k jumps each.

Scott and me, scott is a very experienced instructor with more than 5k jumps.

Jumping tomorrow

2006-04-21T23:45:00.000-04:00

Well this is it, tomorrow I'm headed to the dropzone to do my accelerated freefall course. Frankly speaking, I am a little scared. Who wouldn't be, it's against a normal human instinct's to hurl oneself out of a perfectly fine airplane. Called mum a moment ago to tell her I was jumping, she didn't try to dissuade me but just told me to be careful. Told her I would, knew that there are risks involved and that I would not fool around with safety stuffs. Hope I can sleep well later, gotta get up early and make it to the dropzone tom morn. Need the shuteyes, last few days been bloody excited but yet scared, it's a strange place to be in.... Look out for pics(thinking about videotaping also) if I make the jump tomorrow. Blue skies!

2006-03-28T17:32:00.000-05:00

Beginning to feel that I need more motivation for my running and so...
Here's where I'll be in october, the chicago marathon!

My official training plan has started as of yesterday, 7 months should be more than enough to whip myself into good shape. I'm excited already! Hopefully when I head back home next year, I'll be able to look back and feel that I haven't wasted my time here.
To be done before going home,
1) USPA A license
2) Chicago marathon

2006-03-11T23:39:00.000-05:00

Ripped this off some forum, its bloody hilarious....

Confessions Part 2

2006-03-08T18:19:00.000-05:00

Here is a continuation of the confessions.
Was doing my ebay thing towards the end of the work day today and looking around for a nice polo ralph mesh shirt when I stumbled upon a wu di polo tee, see to believe!!

Now that's what I call getting your worth for your money!! :P

Map of electoral divisions

2006-03-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who thinks this looks ridiculous, check out the size of West Coast GRC and the T-shaped marine parade GRC. Poor little hougang smc is caught inside Aljunied GRC. How do the electoral folks come up with these boundaries anyways?? I hope I don't get into trouble blogging this....

2006-03-02T18:27:00.000-05:00

Pretty cool to see one of the compounds one's working on (although only just) making a difference in people's life.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/02/business/02drug.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

Dissecting the Bachelor

2006-02-27T23:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, I admit I've been watching lotsa 'trashy' shows like the Bachelor, Biggest Loser, My Name is Earl, American Idol,... since coming to the states. Well, what do you expect from someone who knocks off at 420 and get back to this apartment by 445. Even after a workout and dinner, there's still plenty of time to while away so what to do watch tee bee lor. :P

Today was the finale of the Bachelor in Paris, where the doctor Travis finally made his choice between Sarah and Moana. Well, the clever doctor picked the kindergarten teacher Sarah as expected. I was secretly rooting for Moana but on hindsight I think it was all for the better, think she deserves better than the cockster loctor. Something she mentioned while heartbroken and in tears as she was going away in the limousine struck me, "Guys will never marry girls like me". I think Travis was making a "safe" choice in choosing the kindergarten teacher, giving Moana a pass perhaps because the flame that burns the brightest burns the shortest? And also Moana couldn't really connect with his family. She has a knack of breaking into tears whenever someone asks her a difficult question about Travis, the type about what do you like about him? To me I think there's no explanation for everything, why must people ask these question expecting an answer? To me there's not always a nice answer in words to such things, you feel what you feel and that's what that matters, if there exists a connection then I guess the other person will know. Of course there's also people who're really smooth talkers but that's besies the point....

Back to the show, throughout the series Moana was the aloof and super bo chap person that nobody (including myself) liked. But as the show evolved, she started opening herself up and seeing her get the heart emotionally trashed tonight was quite sad. I swear I can almost feel her pain. For people like her who does not open up or warm up to people fast, I think the pain of rejection is quadrupled. Somehow these 'reality' shows have gotten a tad bit too cruel for me, think I'll give next season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette a pass. Let's hope Moana can find a guy who can truly appreciate who she is.... and all the best to the clever doctor who picked the teacher. o O

Ebola Monkey Man

2006-02-14T23:09:00.000-05:00

Happy V-day folks!! Spent the dinner catching a movie and dinner with some friends, we watched 'Last Holiday' starring Queen Latifah. It was pretty funny about her catching some terminal disease and trying to blow off all her money at a last holiday in Prague... Well, I guess all of us would love to live each day like it's your last but dammit obviously we can't spend $$$ like it's ur last... so there's seems to be some kinda conflict of interest there.

For those of you who're wondering what the hell is the ebola monkey man, do visit the webbie http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/. I'm sure most of you guys who has an email account would have encountered or at least heard of scammers from Nigerian who claim they got xxx amount of money, blah blah blah and they're out to cheat you of yours. The webmaster has a 'hobby' of scamming these dammed scammers themselves. The result is hilarious... I actually came upon this website years ago but due to the fact that a friend recently nearly got scammed, it revived memories of this site. I must applaud the webmasters elaborate stories to bait those Nigerian scammes, for eg preteneding to be an adult industry worker in this story and as Father Will U. Tuchme in another encounter. Of course there's also Mr. Bukakke Visit the site when you're bored with work, your colleagues will be wondering why you're laughing. Enjoy!

Snowboarding

2006-02-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

It's been some time since an update, basically the reason for this period of inactivity is simple... I've been bloody playing so much civilization 4 (John's also hooked now) and pretty not doing other stuffs. In fact, I think it keeps me focused cos I'd go straight to the gym after work, take a shower and then pa game!! :p
Luckily, life is not as boring as it sounds and there was a little blip on the radar last saturday. We wento some place south of Indiana called Perfect North where I had my first stab at snowboarding! It wasn't so much snowboarding per se but more of eating snow dust. Gosh, I can't remember the last time I took so many bumps, probably only during the first unarmed combat course did I take more falls... Anyways, I had lotsa fun fooling around and doing my 'superman' stops, i.e., falling flat on one's face until you grind to a halt. :P Our dear friend XH was the most gung-ho among all of us, he wasn't that fantastic a skier but nevertheless went to challenge the 'black diamond' aka the most hiong slope in the place. He mentioned that he stood a full 10 minutes at the cliff before going for it, and boy he basically just tumbled his way down the slope. It was freaking hilarious, and he was so satisfied with himself for doing that it just showed through his grin when he came back after it all... Didn't take too many photos this time, so I guess I'll just upload a few of 'em here.

Stupid idiot supposed to take pics of us snowboarding but instead started taking pics of herself. duhz. Never trust a gal with a camera!!

XH looking satisfied with himself after his infamous tumble, there's even snow on his glasses.

Confessions of a......

2006-01-23T19:41:00.000-05:00

My sister is jealous, very jealous.... cos I get to buy branded stuff here in the states for a fraction of the cost!! Went shopping agin on sunday, damage = 3CK shirts for US$37, 1 nike berms for US$7, 1 no brand shirt for $5 plus one pair of pants for US$10. It's hard not to like shopping here, really can get lots of branded stuff here for a darn goot price when there's a sale going on. My 3 pairs of CK jeans averages about US$25 each and they usually retail for like 60-80 buckaroos! And so my evil sister on hearing my good buys has demanded that I get her a kate spade bag (US$300) but claims that she does not expect me to buy it. As if! Think I die die also gotta try n get her one, I'm ashamed to say I never did much for her most of my life so if i can make some extra cash I guess I'll get her one. No choice gotta buy the bag cos she got me a watch for $350 for my bd b4 I left.... I'll just count my lucky stars that she's not asking for LV or hermes.... Anyways, somehow we've gotten closer since I've come to the states and I guess it's cos she's like my liason with the family in a way... And also of course we share a common interest now and that's shopping(she's got 3 freaking wardrobes)! And I'm always reporting my goot buys to make her gian... it's really hard not to be a brand whore here in the states :P haha

Good mood today also, cos we're making chicken rice!! Hope everything turns out well, dammit 4 mths no chicken rice liao... si peh gian... woot!

2006-01-17T23:34:00.000-05:00

It's snowing again. When you're holed up in a nice warm place, it's kinda nice to watch the snowflakes fall and the roofs of the houses in the neighbourhood slowly turn white... It could be nice to share that moment with someone else but what about all the other days when it doesn't snow or all during the other days when thing aren't so nice? Haha, I'm becoming a mega commitment phobe and super cynical. Hell, just enjoy the snow for now. Tomorrow is a goot new day!

It's back!

2006-01-17T20:23:00.000-05:00

Time for Season 5 of American Idol!

2006-01-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

Some friends have been telling me tales of how some singaporean skydiver got himself killed while skydiving and both his main plus reserve chutes failed. Well actually, I think I knew about the news before most of you because I try to keep myself up to date with the news. I know very well the dangers associated with doing something like that and I have had a couple of malfunctions/close shaves during my SL jumps in the army....

Encountered twists in the parachute on my first jump! Survived with a bad(real bad) bump on my butt that hurt for 3 weeks.
Reserve deployed whilst still on plane, good thing that I wasn't the first man or I probably would have to jump out no matter where I was and of course have a place in the papers.
Near canopy collision with a friend, did the necessary drills and came off without a scratch.

As you can see, I really know very well what I'm getting into and I won't fool around with my life... For those skeptics who thinks still it's crazy or a waste of $$$, well of course you could go play ping pong or something like that but I urge you to take a look at some of the videos from www.skydivingmovies.com. When you see how much fun some of these guys are having doing freefly, base jumps, etc... you'd be wondering what you've been missing out. Let's face it, we're all gonna die some day, and statistics (though not verified by me) says that one is more likely to die driving to a dropzone than actually skydiving. So if one has to go, at least I hope to be doing something that I like instead of awaiting my end on a deathbed... We only have one life, live it!

"I believe life is about action and passion, and you truly can't begin to live life until you overcome your fear of dying."

Jan Davis 1941-1999, died in a protest jump at Yosemite.

Some skydiving related webbies,

Basejumping, consider after you've clocked 200 jumps...

And a Glossary

Word of the day

2006-01-11T08:46:00.000-05:00

From Cambridge

Serendipity:
the lucky tendency to find interesting or valuable things by chance

dictionary.com

The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

Word History: We are indebted to the English author Horace Walpole for the word serendipity, which he coined in one of the 3,000 or more letters on which his literary reputation primarily rests. In a letter of January 28, 1754, Walpole says that “this discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word.” Walpole formed the word on an old name for Sri Lanka, Serendip. He explained that this name was part of the title of “a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of....”

Slightly different interpretation from merriam webster... cos it's essentially a british word
: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for

Why the sudden interest in the word?

Watch the movie with the same title.

2006-01-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

In the process of uploading 200 peektures now and that's for LA only, gawd still got San fran plus Vegas and a whole backlog of other places... I'm actually supposed to start selling more of the books I've acquired and brought over to the states, but this freaking processing of the pics is driving me nuts and taking way more time than I expected.

Here's some food for thought, have you ever wondered wat you'd be doing today if you don't need to hold down a job and support your family or be scrambling up the corporate ladder? Would you be a park ranger, travelling photographer, mountaineer,...??

Blue skies!

2006-01-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Alrighty, finally have my own internet connection and not borrowing some neighbour's one. :P So that leaves me no choice but to start uploading pictures, but the truth is I got so many on hand now it's probably gonna take me like a week or even more to upload them....
I've been doing some research about where to go skydiving in indiana, seems like http://www.skydiverichmond.com/ would be a decent choice, afterall the Richmond boogie is held there and it's the 2nd largest boogie in the states now. All this shit's gonna set me back by about US$2.3-2.5k but what has to be done has to be done, I'm NOT leaving the states without my skydiver A license. It's something that I've been wanting to do for a long long time... Hopefully, the weather can get warmer in march and I can start taking to the blue skies!! Airborne all the way!

Back!

2006-01-04T14:09:00.000-05:00

Super stoned today, just came back last night past midnight and now back at work... Will update soon I took like more than 1 gig worth of pics of LA, SF, Vegas and the grand canyon, sigh wish I had more time for a longer vacation.

Heaven, how far is it and how to get there?

2005-12-22T09:13:00.000-05:00

2 days back watched this abc documentary with the above name, you have evangelists, tibetian buddhists, athesists, scientists all rolled in one. I was hoping that they'll put everyone together and have a slugfest instead of seperate interviews and also thought they should have included scientologists to make it a little more fun. There were also interviews with folks who had near death experiences and believed that they were at the gates of heaven and all that bullcrap, well how do you know it's heaven couldn't it be that you were at the gates of hell and that the rosy picture you see outside is actually the biggest practical joke anyone ever played on you. One step in and you will see the sign "Welcome to Hell". :P There was also this geneticist caliming that he had found some 'god' gene, basically if that gene is activated one is supposed to be more spiritual. Anyways, I dunno why so many ppl so we eng wanna figure out all this crap, why can't folks just take "I dunno" for an answer and stop all the religions or atheist thing. One idea that came out of this is that I'll be the founder of something called 'Complementology' (name was inspired by a friend) that essentially encompasses and those that don't have a religion and not atheists cos that's the last group of folks whose money hasn't been milked!! Can almost feel my first million coming in liao. Woot!

My last words to those who wanna know whether is there heaven.... ke si (go and die) lor.

The Pleasure of Pain

2005-12-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

It's 4 more days before I head for the next trip, basically my whole team is gone except for me! The only other guy not on vacation is working from home today so that leaves the whole office to me myself only. I had a big struggle this morning about coming to work but I guess I had to come for the sake of doing further research and printing of stuffs for the trip so here I am.

My back problems came back suddenly last week and made me sorta ease off on my gymming sessions. Somehow the few day's break made me feel kinda recharged and I was able to really up the intensity of my recent sessions. It's a strange thing but somehow one can get obsessed with training once you realise you can control/ignore the pain to a certain extent. Some folks call this a 'runner's high' and I think it doesn't just apply to running, it could be climbing, cycling, etc... I remember an article about this female triathlete who commented that you've got to enjoy pain to do triathlons and I think somehow being able to control these feelings of pain and fatigue makes one feel formidable, or at least that's how I feel. It does help that the hours here are shorter and I have lots of time on my hands to do some training for the better half of a week.

The majority of folks who exercise obviously do not intend to put themselves in an ultra stressful enviroment but it's amazing how much punishment the human body can take but that is only if one wants to take it. Each time you try to push yourself harder I think you consciously or subconsciously discover something about yourself and your mind, but I think you'd need a little time to understand what I'd call "the pleasure of pain", try it and it'd make you feel more alive than you've ever did....

2005-12-15T14:43:00.000-05:00

Finally have some breathing room, been busy the last few days working on a study but it's finally done!! Just before my boss left last week, kenna arrowed to work on a study, she asked if I think "I'm up to it" of course lan lan gotta say yes right? Anyway, tried working on it over the weekend (not much though) and when I came back on Monday, I asked my colleague when it was due and he said TUESDAY! I nearly freaked out, anyways I managed to get everything wrapped up with a little help from my coach and I'm glad everything turned out just fine. *big sigh of relief*

Backtrack a little to last friday, we went to our first party in indy. It was for the entire stats group and there were about a hundred folks there. Turns out we were a little late and missed out on some of the good stuff. Oh well, early birds catches the worm so just too bad I guess. The good thing that came out of it was that I got a chance to mingle with some of the directors and know quite a few more folks. Turns out that the da lao da is a big guy (6 foot 9 inches!) and damn gao siao but his jokes are super guai lan. We had a couple of drinks there and I had my first taste of egg nog. It tastes really harmless at first and takes a while for the effect to kick in because it's a sort of dairy product based liqueur.... It was ok for networking purposes but think I definitely need to go to some parties for singles. :P

The highlight of last weekend is probably Miss Saigon, finally managed to catch it after all these years. Was seated a little far though and couldn't catch the facial expressions... Regardless of the distance, I quite liked the songs and since I like sad endings as well I must say the moolah was well spent. Looking forward to nuaing over the upcoming weekend and of course to plan for my upcoming Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas trip!

Slumber Party

2005-12-08T21:39:00.000-05:00

Had a most bizarre dream last night, had me jumping up from bed but on hindsight it was freaking funny.... I think to a large extent I can attribute it to south park season 9 episode 9 when there was a part about the gals having a slumber party, the story is told as is without any exagerration or modifications by yous truly. Here's how it goes, john and I were having a slumber party at (drum rolls....) Michael Jackson's place!! I can't recall why but somehow john was on the bed with mj while i slept on the floor.. Well, I fell asleep and awoke in the middle of the night and saw johno still sleeping and mj with his pants off and a woody!! Goddammit, I tio chuar and jumped out of my dream, who knows wat would have happened to john if i had continued dreaming. haha. Anyways, bizarre as it is I thought it was bloody funny.

Today we saw some heavy snowfall in indy, the weatherman reported an expected 5-7 inches of snow. The whole morning things were peaceful and quite but snow started falling at about 2 plus. By 1430 my team members started claering out of the office and john told me a colleague was going to send us back at 1530. I was thinking that we should leave sooner cos the weather looked really bad and it was quite tricky to drive. Anyways, my colleague's hubby got stuck in traffic and was like 40 minutes late. Whe we got to the car, it took us like another half an hour to get to our apartment when it was only a 5 min drive away normally. Some shots we took while walking into our block and from the balcony plus my snowballs made in the balcony!! Keke

Walking into our block!

Stupid john trying to sneak a snowball at me when i was taking the picture.

View from the balcony, cf with pics taken during fall...

Bo liao making snowballs in balcony, notice that I'm in shorts only.

Don't let it snow, don't let it snow, don't let it snow...

2005-12-01T22:31:00.000-05:00

Back from my vacation and it has been a tiring 3 days. Somehow I've been feeling pretty lethargic after coming back to indy from new york. I guess I can attribute that to the incredible amount of walking we do. Though most of the time we took the subway, we did clock quite a lot of distance of foot. Mind you it was freezing those few days we were there and I thought I was underdressed. Anyways, i decided to post the pics and basically talk about what we did there perhaps sometime over the weekend. It was a tight and hectic schedule and there must be still tons of things to do in the big apple we unfortunately couldn't cover. All in all, it was a memorable trip and I hope to be back again sometime.... Oh, one thing I must mention is that while in boston we witness one of the most hiong things I ever saw with my own eyes. While walking back to the hotel, we walked past this gentlemen's club called centerfolds and there were this 2 folks across the street and the gal(or guy not sure) about to go down some mexican guy! All this right in public and that street definitely wasn't a back alley. I was like wtf, should have taken a picture man, they saw us and simply bo chap... These angmohs damn hiong siah.

Was snowing this morning on the way to work, last time watch teebee see snow like damn nice right? Basket when you have to live with it, it's quite PITA. When the wind's strong and you have all those snowflakes smacking into your face it can get on one's nerves. Now the shitty part was that I didn't have my gloves on today and after getting some groceries after work, couldn't put my hands in the jacket cos carrying some bags. Basically all the blood chiong to my hands and they look quite swollen (and were numb). Bottomline, don't leave home without your gloves and don't snow so much!! Gotta bear with winter until next april... arrgghhhh!!

2005-11-22T21:54:00.001-05:00

Some pictures I took from my apartment's balcony just when the leaves were changing color. Fall seems to come and go too fast, I guess nice things don't last too long?

2005-11-22T21:54:00.000-05:00

2005-11-22T21:53:00.000-05:00

2005-11-22T21:47:00.000-05:00

Cheena Commentator

2005-11-22T16:11:00.000-05:00

Caught my first life nba match on sunday, houston rockets vs the indiana pacers. Got cheapo (US$17) seats so they were obviously sucky but those buggers (yao ming is 226!) being so big so won't be as bad as soccer.... Another crapo thing is that when someone in front of u leans forwards, ur view tio blocked so lan lan also gotta lead forward and block the joker behind u. I dun geddit if no one lean forward then everything bu jiu ok lor? Anyways, the match wasn't tat entertaining, dun c ppl making dunks and drive to the basket, though I must admit those guys are really quite zun when no one in front. But then again, if I'm paid big buckaroos to be a pro player they muz haf at least a little substance. The most buay loon part of the night were the 2 techincal experts hailing from the land of the dragon. Those knn 2 dorks were making comments all match long about when to pass to yao ming, how he shd attack the basket, blah blah blah.... until I really cannot take it. Almost wanted to turn back and ask them to stfu but being the politically correct guy, I loonded and the best I could do was to lean forward and try to block their views!! Haha, juvenile but those blokes are the limit when it comes to commentating. Gawd, why got some jokers bloody keep their comments to themself. If u goot, go join nba as a player or coach lah. duh...

Now for some more non-irritating stuffs, tomorrow lim peh going to big apple liao!! woot! Can't wait to go see the greatest city on earth. Been checking out the scene there (i v suaku dunno who the top dj so need to research quite a bit) and bloody still can't make up my mind. But if all goes well, me and johno should be out partying tomorrow night! hehe.... updates next week when I'm back!!

I did it!!

2005-11-17T17:22:00.000-05:00

I'm back from my first winter run!! Since yesterday temperatures finally dipped below freezing point, in fact it's now -3 degrees celsius outside. After deliberating the whole afternoon, when I came back to the apartment I just told myself screw it, changed into a tracksuit and went running on the streets. It was tough breathing the cold air into your lungs when one is running, but being the cold definitely made me go faster than usual, you'd just do it to keep ur ass warm!! Didn't clock too much mileage basically I think I only did 2.4k but it was trying given that I've never been such cold weather before. My bloody ears are still throbbing in pain, next time gonna wear my beanie when I do it again to keep those darn ears warm. Think I need 10 weeks to recover from today's exertion! :P

Ears ears, where art thou?

2005-11-16T20:28:00.000-05:00

Today has to be the coldest (and windiest) day since I've arrived in indy, freaking couldn't walk in a straight line without some effort. It was mighty bloody cold as well, and guess what it's only gonna get much worse. Ji bai dua kee liao... Sometimes one can be out in the cold for only a short moment and knn ears pain liao, I just hope they'll stay where they should be. It was also cold enuf today to see little snow flurries in the air, it's not 'real' snow per se but sort of a prelude to the winter snow....

Got one thing make me freaking dulan, all my applications for credit cards kenna reject!! The most freaking stupid one is my application to citibank kenna turned down and dammit lim peh oreadi got cc from citibank singapore. Down here in the states get cc need credit history, cmon lor where the hell got credit history when you're new here. Everybody has to start somewhere mah, as long as you can show you got employment should be ok liao. I sent an email to citibank singapore to kao peh and they said they could send me a letter of reference citing my credit worthiness, let's hope this doesn't take too long and it will work.

Run for life!!

2005-11-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

Was slacking on the couch having dinner and watching 'The Biggest Loser', suddenly there were 3 loud beeps and across the tv screen the words 'Tornado Watch' was flashing, after which they showed all the counties that was in danger of tornadoes and ours was one of them! John and I immediately started packing our important documents and put them all in our bags ready to leave. John shut down his laptop and prepared for takeoff.... Well, at this juncture after packing my stuff I went to surf a bit for more info and found out that a tornado watch is not as serious as a tornado warning. After a couple of minutes we kinda steadied ourselves and started laughing, to think we almost wanted to set up a detail for sentry duty! Knn, I wonder what would have happened if really got tornado warning, cb sure panic until peng one. So for those of you who are in singapore, count ur blessing that you have no natural disasters to worry about. Whatever it is, I think it's still scary to some extent a tornado 2 weeks back killed 23 in their sleep in southern indiana. I have to admit it's a little to close for comfort...

Back on the homefront grandpa's at home now and recovering fine from his recent hospital stay. I'm glad everything turned out just fine, it's a big relief. We were supposed to view a car last saturday but as it turned out the car got sold before we could make a move. I did remind john to call up the seller to reserve the car but unfortunately the cell phone number was wrong and the next day when we got in touch with her the car was sold! Damn it was a good deal for a minivan costing just 900 buckaroos and not in too bad shape. Oh well, we'll just look out for the next good deal that comes along....

Last weekend was out at a pub called 'That Place in Greenwood' in greenwood(bummer!) listening to some band called The Flying Toasters. They were pretty good except that I didn't know more than half the songs!! It was kinda surreal being there, we were sorta young there the mean age is like 40+. The scene was was one watches in american movies, and now we're part of the movie! I guess it was pretty cool to see those auntie uncle some even ah gong ah ma hit the dance floor and basically just have a good time. I certainly hope I can be like that when I'm older.

Saturday and sunday were spent bumming in front of the pc and tv, basically pa game and watch tv until luan. One of the tv programs that caught my attention was the Hawaii Ironman competition, the Hawaii Ironman does what the Boston marathon does for marathons, it is the Ironman to be at. For the uninitiated, an Ironman is an 'expanded' triatlon consisting of a 2.4-mile ocean swim, 112-mile bike race and 26.2-mile run. Obviously any one of those items alone would take the wind of us mere mortals. I'm still planning to do a half marathon and then a full one. Been slowly trying to increase my mileage weekly, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed I don't get injured or something.

The most stiking thing about the ironman was that they sort of featured 3 special athletes, the first one was afflicted with ALS, a disease which basically leaves him unable to use his left arm. The second featured athlete had a prostetic right foot, she didn't make the cutoff time for the marathon last year and it was heart wrenching to see her in tears and being heartbroken on tv during last year's race. Hold your breath cos the last guy featured is an 80 yr old grandfather! I think I really gotta hand it to these folks for the spirit and determination they've showed. When you see them cross the finishing line, it can bring a tear to your eye. On a side note, last year's man champion was really sway, he had not one but two flat tires during the cycling phase and lost a lot of time with the first flat. During the second flat, he lost it and broke down, saying 'it's over, i have no more power left'.... I guess one does need some luck to win a competition.

The internet connection's sort of unstable of late and I'm feeling lazy to update the blog anyways so I'll be putting up a link to John's blog, he uploads pictures more frequently and whatever he does I should be there too so dun really need to double post bah. Going off to the big apple and boston from 23rd to 28th so watch out for more updates.....

2005-11-10T08:33:00.000-05:00

Been calling home daily these few days, grandpa out of ICU and in normal ward. He should be out by Sat according to the doc, it's a huge load off my mind. Getting busier with work, more studies on hand now. Will be going to go some go-karting this evening and viewing a car this coming weekend.

2005-11-07T22:35:00.000-05:00

Fucking lousy mood, grandpa in hospital and family seems to be keeping things from me. Hate to be kept out of the loop, it's sickening to be 10,000 miles away from your family when something happens.

Hollywood Bar, Morgan-Monroe State Forest & Brown County (again)

2005-10-31T21:42:00.000-05:00

The title pretty much sums up wat I've been doing last weekend, more on that later... Been MIA for a couple of days cos I've been busy checking out deals for a new rig, basically manage to set up a pretty decent rig for abt $1k USD. Except for the lcd monitor and speakers everything else is here, but everything should be up by the end of the week. :) Some of the stuffs I've got...

Last friday night was at this nifty cinema called Hollywood Bar and Filmworks, basically what you can do there is catch a movie (not the latest though) and have your dinner and a drink at the same time. For smokers there's tables at the back for you to enjoy your fags. Anyway, I thought the food was not too bad I had a Whoopi Goldberger which is a half pound cheeseburger!! We caught the 40 year old virgin which was absolutely hilarious and it sure helped with the whole experience. I'm pretty sure I'm be back there again especially when tix are free from sunday to monday for lilly employees. hehe...

The following day we went hiking with a colleague and his black labrador. I was initially quite wary of the dog but it turned out to be pretty ok, I didn't freak out. For those uninformed I'm actually a little afraid of dogs after being chased by on 2 occasions by big dogs when I was little. I remembered the day being -1deg when I woke up and I thought shit it's gonna be a cold day. It warmed up to about 7-8 deg when we arrived at the forest trail in Morgan-Monroe State Forest. It feels kinda cold at first but after some walking it's actually pretty alright. Don (my colleague) even showed us how to spot poison ivy and how to identify some trees. The hikes weren't too demanding, we did a 5km hike instead of the 16 km one cos we were afraid that don might not be able to hold out due to his knee problems. I must say he's still pretty fit for a 56 year old. I figure he must be much fitter in his youth having done 3 marathons!

After a short stop at a town called Nashville where we did some sightseeing and had lunch we headed to Brown County(again). Some of the trees have turned yellow and red but I would say more than half were still green when they should already be bare at this time of the year.... oh well, guess it's jus our luck we can catch the full beauty of the fall season. Did another short 5k hike at brown county and I thought it was somewhat less enjoyable than Morgan-Monroe forest trail as there were lots of folks around. Apparently, brown county is the most popular state park in indiana...

Kinda sad that I'm at home blogging now, today is Halloween but somehow we've got no invites to any parties!! arrgghh, hope we'll know more folks by next year and go to some happening party...

Sabbatical

2005-10-18T17:26:00.000-05:00

Today marks my first month anniversary in indy. Time really flies before I know it I'll probably be back in singapore. Before I came here, I thought it was imperative that I get a mobile and pc. After spending a little time without all these stuff(at least when not in office), somehow it feels pretty good without them. I get the feeling I'm in some kind of sabbatical leave, away from home, away from everything... The only reason for me to get a mobile now would be simply a matter of convenience, as in for me to contact other folks to liase meetup place/time, etc... On the other hand, some part of me prefers to remain uncontactable, as in I take control of when and whom I wanna call. Is this cruel or aloof? What about family and close friends? Frankly speakly, I don't know how to answer that question. I only know I'm gonna make the best of my remaining 17 months here to do the stuff I wanna do, have a good break, learn lots of new stuff and go back to singapore fresh and ready to pia again.

2005-10-17T15:28:00.000-05:00

It has been a pretty quiet weekend, spent the bigger part of saturday at brown county state park. Was told that it was supposed to be quite scenic but it turned out to be dissapointing. Ok we were there to check out the leaves changing from green to yellow and red marking the start of the fall (autumn) season, turns out that the change was not as complete as we had hope. The worst part is that this supposed change in the color of the leaves takes place in a short span of time so that means next week they could have all fallen to the ground already!! At least we did manage to have a nice little bbq at the park grounds.
Johno and I decided to check out the pub scene that nite and we popped by this place called Rathskellar, they had a little dance area and a live band performing outdoors and it seemed like a good deal. Well, we were stopped at the entrance by this gal wif an attitude asking for our photo ids, so ll gotta head back to our apartment to get our passports.... The crappy thing was jy backing out the outing and claimed that she now preferred to vacumn her place after we gotten our ids!! Talk abt PMS!!! It seemed as though she was angry of sorts cos she was walking ahead of us pretty quickly and I must say it kinda irritated me and sorta dampened my()and john's) spirits.... But anyway, I just switched on my bo chap mode, me and johno went to have our saturday night chillout(it was 8deg so it was literally chillout). Outside the pub one can hear some kind of retro music and it wa kind of bizarre to see folks dressed formally in suits and dresses doing some kind of (informal) ballroom dance.... Our mission that night was to check out the live band so we headed to the outdoor area, the suay part was that the blardy band stopped performing at 11pm and we were there at about 2245. So knn we were there for like only 2-3 songs!@#@%!@$% The only good thing was that I discovered there is a place in indy that sells good beer! Being more appreciative of european beers, it was nice to know that they serve several decent draft beer there. Ok now for the bombshell, according to another friend that place is meant for folks 40 and above!! Dammit, tats why that day got no chicks, only got lao mu ji....

Jialat

2005-10-10T09:39:00.000-05:00

Nothing much over the weekend, went plucking apples and the usual weekend shopping!!! I didn't spend a single cent from monday to friday cos was packing lunch the whole week. But come saturday all hell broke loose... bought sneakers, clothes again.. damn at this rate I think me and johno gonna be broke in no time, not to mention I also got some com stuff online... Anyway, I think I won't be uploading the pics we took here anymore, took much of a PITA will probably put it up somewhere else and put up links here. The most depressing news of the week is that aku here put on a bloody 4.5 pounds within 5 days!!! dammit I dunno how is that possible, I wasn't eating like that much and john was eating more than me!! Last wednesday I used the balance scale and weighed in at 163.5 pounds, yesterday after a run(!) was at 168 pounds. :-( dang, gotta start hitting the roads for longer runs... gd thing I not a shortie...

Windy City

2005-10-03T13:47:00.000-05:00

Was up in Chicago(aka the Windy City) over the weekend, did some shopping, lots of eating and some sightseeing whilst there. Not gonna talk too much but just gonna put a few pics up, the rest will come later when I have more time.

On our way!

After a 3 hr (boring) ride, had dim sum at chinatown

In our hotel room, Holiday Inn Chicago City Center fopr US$50 off priceline

Exploring downtown chicago

Chicago has a blend of old buildings amongst skyscrapers

Inside Niketown, 4 stories of Nike stuff, but very ex...

There were lots of people playing some kind of music including one really bad one of the sax and one joker who was dancing to some 80's dance music which was damn funny, here's an entire band playing at one of the road junctions.

Now one of the stange things about chicago is that there's a beach right beside the downtown area! Chicago is right beside Lake Michigan where the beach is, down there you can see lots of folks running, cycling, blading, somewhat like ECP but on one side you get a view of the sea and the other the chicago skyline.

johno and i doing some stupid 'deep in thought' pose

Back to downtown chicago!

Some pics I took while we were resting in a cathedral,

Ate chicago's famous deep dish pizza at Gino's East for dinner, ordered 3 personal and a side of wings but ended up tabaoing most of the stuff. It was quite filling but shiok... oh btw we queued up more than half an hour and waited 40min for the pizza!!

and now for some shots of chicago's breathtaking skyline at the top of the John Hancock Center

Will upload some other stuff later, feel free to drop me comments as I'm new to taking pictures. Hopefully part 2 will be up soon...

4th day in indianapolis

2005-09-22T16:50:00.000-05:00

it's been a couple of days since my arrival in the states, been really busy sorting out stuff and can't find the time to blog... anyway, without my own pc off office hours, it's also quite a challenge to blog.

Let's start with last friday, where me and johno had our farewell gathering at brewerkz. Initially I made a reservation for 15 folks and was on time at 9pm, as usual everyone else was late and I was too damn pai seh to go sit down alone on tables meant for 15. jk was the first to come down and we did go get the seats (brewerkz called me at 9pm sharp to ask if i was ard) and it was kinda funny to have like just 2 guys occupying an entire row. Anyway, the folks started trickling in one by one, it was nice to see that somehow everyone knew someone else from another group in some here. I was pretty concerned that some of them might feel out of place cos there were some groups that were bigger and some with only 2-3 folks. Managed to catch up with some frds whom i haven't seen for a while too, which I thought was quite neat.

Had quite a few beers that night but was still doing ok. Gotta say a big thank you to kiat for helping me block some of the drinks... He was commenting that that night was machiam my wedding night and he was one of the blockers. Well, I must say he sure help me a bit here and there if there sure gone at brewerkz liao. We went down to Forbidden City after that and that's where the madness began. The chaps ordered a waterfalls and flaming lamborghini for me and johno and we down them one after another. I was ok for 10 minutes after which was totally conked out and was like puking all over the shop.... haha I'm still in the midst of getting the pictures and will put them up once I get them. Anyway, it surprises me that johno was totally sober after all that beer and cocktails, it's especially surprising after seeing him being knocked out after zouk the previous wednesday. At least I didn't wake up with too bad a hangover and managed to finish packing my stuff and had a decent meal with my family. Was pretty sad at having to leave me grandparents and the rest but this is wat I had to do for my career. 18 mths will pass by pretty quickly I'm sure. :)

The next day (19th Sept, Sunday) was spent flying to indy, I'm surprised I came out of it alive, the 20+ hours flight was no joke man. When I came to work on monday, my knees felt quite stiff. I sure am glad I don't have to fly to the states for work every now and then, the flight here is really insane not to mention the jet lag(which is still affecting me till today). Most of the way here was rater unevenful, I was pretty excited that I'd be finally reaching indy after the long flight and managed to pick out the nascar track from the air. One of our colleagues picked us up from the airport and we made our own way to the hotel. We wasted no time in exploring downtown indy after checking in. Unfortuntely, as per what our coleagues haf said, indy IS a bloody boring place. At the heart of downtown at 7pm on a sunday niht, it looks like a ghost town with few folks on the streets. We tried to walk around abit but most of the malls were closed only some restaurants were open. We headed back to hotel not too long after and began our daily ritual of sleeping before 10 am for the next few nights!! I can't remember the last time I did that but well at least I'm getting the rest that my body deserves until in sg where I usually sllep 6-7 hours a day.

will try and do more updates, gotta knock off liao... pics will also be up soon...

2005-09-14T08:51:00.000-05:00

Only one word to describe my state of mind now, WhIrLwInD.... It's like not too long ago when I was offered this position by LNUS and in 4 days time I'll be off in the states. The craziest thing is I haven't packed my luggage yet! haha, it's one of the last second things that I always do all my life. The last 2 weeks were spent mainly catching up with friends and I will set aside the next couple of days mainly for my family and to finish up my packing.

Having mixed feelings now, really sad that I have to leave my beloved grandparents and it is obvious that they don't want to see me go. I have been trying very hard to reassure them the last few weeks that I'll take good care of myself and will call back often. I only hope that they will be healthy and not worry too much about me while I am away. Having to leave all my pals here is also kinda sad, but I know this is just about the last chance for me to take lower pay and go out and pia, any later and I probably won't take up such an offer. On the other hand, whenever I think of the things I could do there like pick up skydiving(finally!), snow boarding, climbing again plus all the travelling that I can do makes me really excited. It helps that I've got a travelling companion, I'm only keeping my fingers crossed that we dun get on each others nerves.

Come friday night, me and johno will be having our farewell gathering. Hope it'll be fun....

Last 2 weeks in Singapore

2005-09-05T09:30:00.001-05:00

Finally reported to lilly today, I can basically start counting down to the day I leave Singapore. To be precise there's like 13 days plus a few hours before I leave for the states and will be there for 18 months. Anyway, I was told that my supervisor was this lady call Park SM and apparently she's was described as a PAL by my colleague, i.e, pretty aggressive lady. :S Hope everything will turn out fine..... I'll be specializing in endocrinology over there, the main focus will be on diabetes and new treatments for it. It's pretty exciting to be in a real pharmaceutical company and be involved in the actual development the drugs. Just imagine the day when one of the drugs you're working on being marketed and that it is deemed a breakhrough in terms of response and little side effects, think that'll be the day. : ) Just a quick fact, from the drawing board to a drug being actually being shown to be safe and efficacious, it takes about 15 years and a whooping US$897 million buckaroos by today's standards!

Was taken on a tour of the LNUS center and I was pretty impressed by the fact that the center was pretty much self contained enough to do P1 trials all in one floor. I thought the way things were done looked quite professional and most of the folks were quite friendly. Hope things stays like this in indy. The most weird encounter of the day was that my teammates tried to push me to be the team captain for this friday's sports day! Geeze, today is like my first day and I kenna such a big arrow, I was like #$*(@*(#$. Luckily, they changed their minds later, possibly cos I don't even know all their names, so how the hell am I supposed to lead them? Finally, I hope to get my camera this weekend and can start to put up some pics real soon.

2005-09-01T10:26:00.000-05:00

Took the motorbike test today and failed miserably, got 54 points, thrice what is allowed for a pass! Maybe the test was doomed right from the start, we were split into 10 groups of 9 and the testers came by to verify our ids, after ALL the other group got their id checked, the tester in charge of my detail finally came by after waiting for a while. I have to admit at that moment I told myself 'Hey screw it, this is NOT a sign of bad luck".....
Now all of us were assigned a bike and you have no choice whatsoever over it. I happened to get a new bike and thought 'sui liao, hehe maybe today's gonna pass one time.' 10 minutes later, when the tester waved to me to signify the start of the test, guess wat, the bloody machine stalled. I quickly recovered and moved off, but the stalling was not the only one of the day. In total, I think I stalled almost 10 times or more during the test. The problem with the bike was that the clutch was pretty sensitive, let go a little and the bike moves. It handled very differently from the old bikes which I was used to and I must admit I wasn't ready for it. Anyway, after the test ended, I told one of the intructors about it. He tested my bike and admitted that yes the bike was more sensitive as usual but I could have told them about it and they could adjust it. Like how was I supposed to know when I didn't have a chance to ride it beforehand. Anyway, it's just a little stroke of bad luck, at least I'm still alive to take another test. I'd probably just do it in the states instead....

Been hit by the lazy bug, after handing up my thesis I've been super nua. Weekends are spent perpetually kooning except for the usual chilling out at nights. I think I really should be spending more time prepping for the big trip, it's only 17 days away!! Haven't been updating the blog also, the plan now is to be more active when I'm away and sorta change this into a photo blog cos I'm lazy to type stories regularly. Actually, there's always things popping into my head but it's hard to 'write' things down. It feels kinda like writing GP essays, very hard to get started but it's usually ok for me once I get into it. Hopefully the next update won't be too long away... In the meantime, check out vs.jonaize.com if you were once a victorian and stumpled here somehow.

Woes of being in a nanny state

2005-08-14T09:28:00.000-05:00

After a few weeks of hot air and bsing, it turns out that the so called presidential elections will be another walkover! This 'election' thingy is really is joke, why does there need to be such extensive screening and having rules such as being the CEO of a company of company worth 100mil before you are deemed capable of running for presidency. I wonder how many of our dear politicians fits the bill themselves. The whole idea of an election is to let the people choose and not take them for idiots and tell them who can be chosen and who's not eligible. Such is the state of political affairs here. I think we're better off just going back to the old system of the cabinet choosing the president, this election thing is trying to make fools of us all. BTW, ever since I've come of legal age to vote, I haven't had a single chance to vote due to the walkovers we have in cheng san grc for the last few GE's. I'm only waiting to see when hougang avenue 8 becomes demarcated as part of marine parade, after all serangoon north (about 1 street away) is already part of marine parade grc. *infinite eye rolls*

A step forward or 3 steps back?

2005-08-05T23:42:00.000-05:00

At 8:15am on 6th August 1945, 140,000 died in an inferno which we now know as the aftermath of the 'bomb'. I'm not terribly fond of the Japanese for what they have done to China and largely to the whole of Asia during the second world war but I can't help but feel sorry for those who perished in wake of the atomic bomb. Not to mention the many others who have succumbed to the many side effects of the radiation. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were cities with civilians and not military targets, the use of a weapon with such massive destrutvie powers is questionable. It is estimated that about 100,000 Allied soldiers will die if the invaded the Japanese mainland and I guess one of their justification was to prevent further losses. But is the life of an American soldier worth more than a Japanese cilivilian or soldier? I know that there's no simple solution to such questions that's why there should never be wars in the first place. People who know me well know that I'm an avid student of WWII but having been widely read doesn't make me a war monger. In fact I have read so much about the horrors of war and as such know what a terrible thing war can be.

A couple of months back, I saw a little video made by troops of the 101st airborne serving in Iraq. There was this scene whereby the graves were marked by rifles with their barrels stuck in the ground and a helmet on top of the overturned rifle. When a soldier dies, we know that someone has lost a son or a husband or a poor kid his father. As soldiers, we take orders and execute them, that's the way the army goes. If someone has to take the blame for the loss of lives in war, more often than not there's some madman at the top of the helm that initated the carnage. Hirohito, Hitler, Saddam, Bush are some names that comes to mind when we think of the wars that have been fought in the current and last century. It is said that technology advances the most due to wars, in wars intensive research goes into making more extravagant weapons and more efficient ways of killing maximum number enemies with minimum effort. Sometimes after a war, some of these technology spills over to the civilian sector. Perhaps every step we move forward in technology means 3 steps back for humanity? Sometimes I guess we should all just chill and listen to John Lennon's 'Imagine'...

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

2005-07-20T00:32:00.000-05:00

haven't been blogging, getting into the routine of work.... boring is the word. can't wait for the edb guys to call me up n confirm the date i'm moving off. Now for something totally bo liao, apparently this phenomenon is caused by the way our leftie n rightie brain works,...

TRY THIS!!!

While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there is nothing much you can do about it.

The Crow

2005-07-07T10:09:00.000-05:00

DEATH: Is not death if you refuse it, it is if you accept it.
So says the man who returns from the dead to hunt down those who killed him and the love of his life, not just kill, but rape, then kill and rape...
I watched the crow donkey years back in sec school if I'm not wrong, I remember really liking the show back then and I even got the OST. In fact, that was when I got introduced and hooked onto NIN. There's a haunting song called "It can't rain all the time" and there's something special in the song that sticks in your head. When the sudden interest in the crow? I picked up a copy today from the comic shop and have finished reading it in 2 sittings!
I guess some may not like the dark theme and the violence in the comic. The brutal way in which Eric (The Crow) mercilessly hunts down those responsible for his gal's killings and the way he subsequently excecutes them may be unorthodox and downright ruthless. But I guess for a man who has witnessed the rape and death of the love of his life there ain't nothing left to lose.... One can sense the humanity in eric, the way he reminises the old times he shared with shelly, can't help but feel sad... very sad.... I wonder what I would have done if I was him, walk away or go on a path of revenge? I shan't rant anymore, but for fans of the movie I seriously recommend reading the comic. IMO, it's much more moving and you get a better feel for the characters.

2005-06-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

Spent last night hanging out with some old mates from sr, well it so happened that my mum ain't cooking for mon and tues so I thought since we're all working near town area maybe we can kinda like meet up for dinner. After all, outram's much closer to suntec than nus. Anyway, only managed to get 3 guys at first namely me, angpia n pei. Had dinner over at sushi tae and beng later joined us. The interesting thing was dunno how come suddenly we managed to jio quite a few more folks out, lance, daniel, sb n gf later showed up as well when we went over to pool junction. Learnt a few tricks from lancey boy on pool stuff, hope have time to practice on the new stuff I learnt. Was a night well spent, hope we can do it more often before I relocate. The boys are already booking places with me, no matter where I'm going! Well, I guess I won't be having a quiet christmas. :) The only bad thing was that slept later than usual last night and had trouble keeping my eyes open at work today. Gonna catch up on my sleep soon.

Of struggles and difficulties in life

2005-06-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

Still pretty upbeat about my soon to be confirmed relocation to the states or europe. Last friday about an hour b4 knocking off my mind was already wandering off to the stuff I could do if I can go off to the states. Top of the list would be to go and skydive!! I religiously went to check out available skydiving sites near indianapolis and managed to find some which looked quite professional and offered AFF (accelarated freefall). The problem is that it's probably gonna set me back by quite a bit of money but it's still gonna be much cheaper than sg. Basically for the first few jumps, 2 jumpmasters(JM) jump with you and as one progresses it reduces to 1 JM. On lesson 7 you're off on your own and after which you're qualified to jump anywhere! After hitting 25 jumps one can apply to be a licensed skydiver with the USPA (United States Parachute Association).

Now for the screwy thing, moving abroad means tat u probably need to have some personal mode of transport. It ain't like in sg where you can just take a bus or cab anywhere and the shitty thing is I dun have a bloody driver's license. Well I can only kick my own ass for not getting one all those years in uni. My only salvation now is to get my rider's license b4 leaving... Anyway, I just passed my lesson 6 today which means 2 more lessons to go b4 I can take the tp test, I'm hope all goes well and I can make it in time for the tp test which is on 28th July and pass it one time round.

Pretty much quiet for the weekend, last friday went to be a good grandson and bought the fried oyster I promised my grandma. Since Tiong Bahru Bao was near my office, I also went there and bought some for them. Sigh, I think I'm gonna miss them much if I leave and I guess I should visit them as much as I can now while I'm still here. After all, they're already getting in on their years and the matter of fact is we don't know when they'll be gone. Rather than regret not spending more time with them when they're gone, I always try and make time each weekend to visit them. It ain't right to live life with tons of regrets right?

Hung around grandma's until about 9 then went off for a drink at Paulaners with kiat. It's been like donkey years since I chatted with him, in fact I haven't seen him in almost a decade and I'm glad we're back in touch. After all, we're pretty good back back in lower sec, it's just that we kinda drifted off after we went off to diff classes in sec 3 & 4. Actually, sometimes it seems like we never really left vs... I guess most of us are still the same excpt that we are more aware of how vicious the outside world can be. It's a dog eat dog world out there, you have to be street smart to make a living. Academia life is pretty protected in the sense tat there is probably less politics to speak off but hey I ain't a professor so I can't say for sure. It's just a gut feeling I have. I've since made my choice about going out to "chuang" instead of pursuing a PhD. I hope it's the right choice, at least things are pretty much going according to plans right now. Hey, whatever it is, I think I must still stick to the cdo mantra "Expect the unexpected".

Spent saturday brushing up my dissertation and watching lost. One thing that struck me was a part about the cocoon and the moth breaking out of it. Basically, the moth has to struggle pretty hard to break out of its hard cocoon into the outside world. One could of course make the process easier and make a hole in which the moth could climb out. But that would mean that the moth would be too weak to fend for itself in the outside world. Life's about a set of struggles, each one serving its purpose to make one stronger. I believe that man a pretty resilient creature, most of the time we give up because of our own inadequacies and not because the body or mind cannot take the pressure. In a way, I'm glad that I didn't have things easy for me throughout my teenage years. My family had its fair share of financial problems and it was hard to understand it as a kid about why there were so many things I couldn't have that my friends got. As I grew up, I understood the situation better and very much appreciate how my mum tried to keep the family together. It's funny now to think that I was so rebellious and always quarrelling with my mum (I even left home once) but we're so much closer now. Well at least better late than never, I'm hoping that I can build a bridge across to my old man also, but it's probably gonna take some time. The stint with the cdos pretty much tells you that one can take much more than one knows. Hell, I wouldn't want to go through all that shit again but if I have to choose where to serve, I would never want to go anywhere else.

Today is a good day.

2005-06-22T10:03:00.000-05:00

Was at cgh earlier in the day for my weekly statistical consultation for the clinicians there, halfway through the consultation received a call from a familiar number. Sensing it was from the coy I was waiting for, I excused myself to pick up the call. I remembered my heart pounding as I was told I was selected for the training program that'll take me either to the US/UK/Belgium! Woot! Hehe, the adrenalin rush's not over yet even though it's been so many hours. Told a couple of close friends about it and all of them were very happy that I was given a chance for the exposure abroad. The only complaint I had was my sis saying, "Oi, are you going to send $$ back?" @$#%#$%... I just replied "If I got left over lor..."

This year started on a pretty bad note for me, I'm glad I managed to pick myself up again and life is now looking better than ever. All those friends (you know who you are) who given me a lift when I was down a big THANKS andof course to my family for their TLC during my darkest hour. Now for a little rubbish from your truly,..

"What's past is past, the future no one knows for sure. When only the present is for eternity, do not stop believing in your rendezvous with destiny." A rendezvous with destiny I shall have...

2005-06-21T10:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, the last time I watched this shit was when I was in high school which was like almost 10 years ago but it's a goddamned cool. This is metallica at it's best in 89, sad to say all the albums after the black album sucked big time but the old school metal still very much roxors. Going back to watch my dvd!

2005-06-13T11:25:00.000-05:00

It's been a while but some things you never forget....
JM: First pass, stand up! Hook up!
JM: Check static line!
Stick: One! Two!
JM: Check equipment!
Stick: Helmet, capewell, lifejacket, chest strap, reserve snap, ripcord, leg strap, peg tie, static line clear and hooked up!
JM: Sound off for equipment check!
Stick: 16 ok, 15 ok,..., 1 ok, stick ok!
JM: Move forward!
Stick: Right, left, right, left!
JM: 5 seconds, stand in the door!
JM: Green ON! GO!

Had some crazy thought on my way back home, would it be possible to scatter my ashes off a charlie when I die so that I can do a final jump and be one with the wind?

People come and go, old friends are still the best

2005-06-05T00:30:00.000-05:00

Been out with an old buddy (and others) for the last 2 nights, tired as hell each day from work but I'm glad I made the effort to go out with them. It's been years since we sat down and had a good chat and I'm happy to know that the lads from VS are all doing fine. 2 of my best buddies are getting married next year, 1 of them will be posted to Nagoya, Japan. It's probably going be a while before we can have so many guys coming down so the meetings will be something that I'll cherish. Sometimes, it seems just like yesterday when we were playing pranks, watching girls together and in the blink of an eye more than a decade has passed. At other times all these seem so long ago and unfamiliar but it's nice to know that I can still communicate as though it was like the good old days with them. I wish these folks all the best in life and in whatever they do. Nil Sine Labore!

2005-06-02T08:08:00.000-05:00

Watching chase makes one depressed, when you meet someone you've been waiting for for 10 years only to lose her. Will you wait another 10 years?

Opposites

2005-06-01T23:42:00.000-05:00

If you talk too much, learn to keep quiet, sometimes less is more.
If you talk too little, learn to open up so others can know you better.
If you spend too much, learn to control your spending, save for a rainy day.
If you spend too little, take some time to splurge, after all money is only worth it's value if it's used.
If you walk too fast, learn to slow down and appreciate the world in another point of view.
If you walk too slowly, go faster so that things can be done in a more timely fashion
.....

The problem with people is that we settle into a routine way too easily, I think sometimes being the opposite of what you are may help one appreciate life and yourself better.

The end of an era.....

2005-05-19T00:03:00.000-05:00

Caught star wars ep 3 last night, I must say that it's pretty good after being dissapointed with episode 2. Some of the blanks of past sw eps were filled in and it's kinda sad to know that there'll be no eps 7,8 and 9 to look forward to. :( Anyway, I think ep 3 has just about the most light sabre fighting scenes in all the SW movies but I thought it was strange that count dooku lost so easily to anakin and that general grevious with his 4(!) light sabres wasn't much of a fight for obi-wan kenobi. Ep 3 is probably the darkest of all the sw movies as it shows us how palpatine seduces anakin to the dark side. On another perspective, it suddenly occured to me that the jedi way seemed sort of influenced by Buddhist teaching(is lucas a buddhist?), over the course of the movie one hears much about pain, suffering and letting go. I pretty liked what yoda mentioned to a troubled anakin who has dreams of padme dying in childbirth, "You must learn to let go of what you're most afraid of losing." Some friends also jokingly mentioned that women is the root of all evil, the are they reason why one joins the "dark" side. Kind of funny but it's probably true in its own way after seeing how some friends have changed after bad breakups. SW ep 4 debuted in 1977 a year before I was born, ep3 does not dissapoint and a befitting end to the saga known as star wars. May the force be with you.

A Change of Seasons

2005-04-28T00:36:00.000-05:00

An excert from the Dream Theater EP 'A Change of Seasons'

I remember a time
My frail, virgin mind
watched the crimson sunrise
Imagined what it might find
Life was filled with wonder
I felt the warm wind blow
I must explore the boundaries
Transcend the depth of winter's snow
Innocence caressing me
I never felt so young before
There was so much life in me
Still I longed to search for more
But those days are gone now
Changed like a leaf on a tree
Blown away forever
into the cool autumn breeze
The snow has now fallen
and my sun's not so bright
I struggle to hold on
with the last of my might
In my den of inequity
viciousness and subtlety
struggle to ease the pain
struggle to find the sane
Ignorance surrounding me
I've never been so filled with fear
All my life's been drained from me
The end is drawing near....

Finally managed to verify a result in a paper, turns out the proof is trivial once you know the missing link. Now I need to work on a result that promises to be much more tricky, hope I won't lose too much hair and brain cells in the process. Why must the authors of academic publications always write, "It is easy to see that ....", "The proof is trivial and is ommited", most of the time a lot of hard work goes into the proofs but mathematicians love to use the above 2 lines in papers or some permutation of it. Really drives me nuts sometimes. A professor once mentioned that everything is hard until you know how to do it, how true!

The last few days when I'm not working or training, been spending some time reading through a translation of Richard Wagner's magnum opus "Der Ring des Nibelungen", the librettos can be found here. Operas never interested me much in the past but the story here is pretty engaging once you figured wat's going on. Maybe I should spend some time on understanding some Teochew opera too. The only one that I know off is one where a poor scholar stays in a haunted room in an inn because all the rooms are fully occupied, I remember watching it as a kid and was very much entertained by the actors. Enough of a break, back to the realities of work now.

Courage

2005-04-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

Of late I've been reading "Arnhem" by Major General R. E. Urquhart, the commanding general of the British 1st Airborne Division in Operation Market Garden. I must say it has been a wonderful read so far and the acts of gallantry under fire by the paras are incredible. The following is an excerp from the book,

"One of the medical officers, Jimmy Logan, advised Father Egan, the padre with the party, that one of the young soldiers had only a quarter of an hour to live. As Egan knelt by the youngster's side with words of comfort, he reckoned the soldier could not be more than 20 years old.

'If you'll bring me a couple of stretcher-bearers along, Padre,' the young man said quietly, 'I can handle a rifle. Just let them put me in position.'

Already in this battle, Egan had seen much gallantry. "I'm sorry,' he said disarmingly, 'but the stretcher-bearers are too busy just now.'

The soldier was placated, but remarked: 'I only hope the others don't think I'm letting them down.'

Egan stayed with him until he died."

Reading this reminds me of a remark by one of the green berets in 'Black Hawk Down', it goes something like this, "Why we go out there is not for the country, but for the man standing next to you." Going back to Operation Market Garden, the 1st Airborne was never to recover from the losses suffered in that battle, of 8905 officers and men plus 1100 glider pilots, only 2163 had returned with the rest being dead, captured or missing. 5 Victorian Crosses (Britain's highest medal for bravery in combat) were awarded, 4 of them being posthumous, details can be found here. Sometimes I wonder how I'd react when under fire, I guess all I can say is that I hope we won't ever have to find out....

A little off topic, but here's a cool video of a jump and my current collection of SF and airborne books.

2005-04-18T09:50:00.000-05:00

Went downtown today to grab a couple of cds, recently I've been totally hooked on Stravinsky's three ballet pieces, namely, The Firebird, Petrushka and The Rite of Spring. In fact, I bought 2 Stravinsky cds, same music but with different conductors and orchestra. :) Picked up a copy of Edvard Grieg Peer Gynt and Sibelius's Finlandia as well. Enjoying the music now in the still of the night and alone in my room where I can indulge in some quality music after a long day.

Salt

2005-04-13T10:42:00.001-05:00

Everyday we're so caught with work, family, friends, other halves that we miss out on something that is so very important, i.e, ourselves. When was the last time you took an entire day off to spend a day all by yourself? Having lots of great company is akin to having a feast with many different delicacies, however not knowing how to spend quality time with oneself is like not having any salt or flavour to the feast laid out in front of us. Maybe it's human nature that makes us afraid of being alone, but my opinion is that only when you can appreciate and indulge in your own company than can one truly enjoy the company of others.
Time to Zzzzz, spent the last 3/4 days running and did weights yesterday when I didn't run. My body's taking a real beating, 不认老都不行. But knowing that you're getting fitter somehow makes me feel formidable, almost invulnerable... hehe. :-)

8 days of hardship and return to innocence

2005-04-10T12:05:00.000-05:00

Mum's gone away to Shanghai for a well-deserved break... gonna have to do things all by myself, wash clothes, cook. Sis so bz of late that I hardly c her, not home after I'm back at 3+, guess I have to do the chores... As for the floor, think I'll just sweep and mop on the day she's back... haha Been quite decadent the last few days, drinking, sleeping late, smoking a few fags (which I will stop, I think). End product, ran a miserable 14min for 3k earlier.

I had some interesting and engaging conversations with some old pals, in particular about "Return to Innocence". Sometimes when you're younger we might be adventurous and try out funny stuffs which we shouldn't have on moral grounds. When you get older, you snap out of it and want to go back to what you once were... It's easy to make a white sheet black, but from black to white is impossible the best we can do is gray. In four words, we can say it's 回头太难. Of course you can also choose keep things to youself and 'appear' white. I don't advocate lying but sometimes it's better not to tell the truth. The truth can cut like a scythe through grass, not everyone has a heart big enough to handle the truth. Relationships break down because sometimes we don't wanna lie and cannot tell the truth. I wonder if there exists a way around the deep dark secrets that I believe most of us carry?

2005-04-07T23:36:00.000-05:00

Will be updating the blog once I'm free to do some html coding, well I hope I dun delay too much. Have some ideas running through my head, just need to implement them... Like they say "Procrastination is like masturbation, you only end up f****** yourself.", though the consequences of not updating a blog won't be as serious as being slow in completing work. Later!

Virgin Post

2005-04-04T01:28:00.000-05:00

My virgin post, after much careful thought I think most people wouldn't give a friggin' damn about what goes on in a stranger's life. It'd be better for me to write about what I see and observe about the world through my hopefully not too myopic vision.

A couple of weeks ago, I caught the show Closer with some friends. The main characters in the show are Natalie Portman (Alice), Jude Law (Dan), Julia Roberts (Anna) and Clive Owen (Larry). In a nutshell, the show's about betrayal and deception in human relationships, some of the scenes are really raw emotinally, will somehow stick in your head and leave you pondering. One of the best parts has to be the "caveman" scene, Anna comes clean about her affair with Dan to Larry (her husband) and they have an intense argument,....

Larry (L): Is he a good fuck?
Anna (A): Don't do this.
L: Just answer the question, is he good?
A: Yes.
L: Better than me?
A: Different.
L: Better?
A: Gentler.
L: What does that mean?
A: You know what I mean.
L: Tell me.
A: No.
L: I treat you like a whore.
A: Sometimes.
L: Why would that be?
A: I'm sorry...
L: DON"T SAY IT. Don't you fucking say you're too good for me. I am but don't say it, you're making the mistake of your life. You're leaving me because you believe you don't deserve happiness but you do Anna.
L: Did you had a bath because you had sex with him? So you wouldn't smell of him? So you'd feel less guilty?
L: How do you feel?
A: Guilty.
L: Did you ever love me?
A: Yes.
L: Did you do it here?
A: No.
L: Why not?
A: Do you wish we did?
L: Just tell me the truth.
A: Yes, we did it here.
L: Where?
A: There. (points to the sofa)
L: On this? We had our first fuck on this, did you think of me?
L: When?
L: When did you do it here?
L: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
A: This evening.
L: Did you cum?
A: Why are you doing this?
L: Because I wanna know.
A: Yes, I came.
L: How many times?
A: Twice.
L: How?
A: First he went down on me then we fucked.
L: Where was he?
A: I was on top then he fucked me from behind.
L: And tat's when you came the 2nd time?
A: (mumbles) Why is it that sex is so important?
L: BECAUSE I"M A FUCKING CAVEMAN!!
L: Did you touch yourself while he fucked you?
A: Yes!
L: You wanked for him?
A: Sometimes.
L: And he does?
A: WE DO EVERYTHING THAT PEOPLE THAT HAVE SEX DO!
L: You enjoy sucking him off?
A: YES!
L: You like his cock?
A: I LOVE IT!
L: You like him cumming in your face?
A: Yes!
L: What does it take like?
A: It tastes like you but sweeter!
L: That the spirit! Thank you. Now fuck off and die! You fucked up slut!

Actually reading doesn't do the scene a favour, the intense emotions played out there must be seen to relive it in its full glory. Half a year if someone asked me if I would cheat I would give a straight no, nowadays suddenly I'm not so sure. Sometimes it feel like we've grown up too fast, relationships becomes so complicated that it's really scary. I wish things could be simpler, but it's not and we just have to deal with it. Please get hold of Closer and tell me who's the best "player" in the show, if not for the story at least do it for Natalie Portman!